Transitions

Well another birthday has come and gone.

As I reflect on my 25th birthday I see my 24th year as a year of transition. It has been a year of much emotional struggle for me but I am a better and stronger person for all the hard times I have been through.. I am blessed to be supported by a loving family great friends and an amazing boyfriend.The first transition was the issue I was having with all the drama with my NEC friends. What I have taken away from this situation is that people are not always what they seem to be and you never truly know what goes on between people when you're away from them. You wish you could fix things but ultimately you can't. That is honestly how I felt when all the drama first started to happen. I felt torn because I wanted to help people but not get so involved because I wanted distance myself from other people's problems as much as possible. As an end result.. as most of you who read this livejournal know paths have diverged and some people are no longer friends with each other. I sometimes wish I could go back and figure out what caused so much tension between people . infomation that I would discover way after the fact once signifcant damage had been done. Hopefully people can reconcile with each other but at this point I wonder if it's too late to hope for that.The second this is sligthly more recent. My sister left for college on Monday. That transition is still fresh. I know I will still talk to her on the phone and through skype but it won't be the same as having her at home every day. I am also going to really miss her friends and their prescence in my house. They've become almost like extenstions of my family and it's going to feel weird with not seeing them so often. They are spreading their wings and moving to different places and I am excited to find out where their paths from Amherst will lead them.The 3rd transiton..is really still in the process of transition. This transition is looking for a job. Largely I habe been out of work for two years though I have had lots of temporary jobs..not substanial enough pay to pay back my loans form NEC which has been a pain. I have a freelance job with the Milford Cabinet but that only pays $50.00 an artcile which amounts to $50.00-$100 a month depending on if I write one or two articles in a one month period. This summer I have been working at the Boys anf Girls Club of Greater Nashua doing clerical work. Combining these skills together with the skills from my job and my volunteer job at the Chamber of Commerce which ended on Augut 2nd I think I will have great experience that will help me to succeed in future positions. I had Project Search orientation on the 17th and I am both anxious and excited about this new endeavor. I can't wait til Tuesday New people. New experiences. All very exciting.
The final transition is of course my Barn Playhouse depression. This has taught a lot about friendship and how being obsessed about things can really not be a good thing. I was so wrapped up in being paranoid about the Barn Playhouse and wanting to fix things I couldn't control that I didn't really realize how it would have a long term effect on my relationships with people from my group at the Barn Playhouse. I mean I wasn't really close to half the people in the group anyway but despite level of closeness we were still a tight knit group of people. I thought that people would hate me because of the way I was acting about the Barn and it toook me FOREVER to realize that that was never the case. Looking back over old emails I kept from Caroline Kittrell and Maggie Politi I realized that I was being foolish. The biggest wake up call was when Maggie Politi emailed my mother in April about how her and the rest the people were concerned about me. I hope she realized how much that email meant to me because it helped me to believe something I had trouble trusting mostly because I was clouded by doubt that Will Porter hated me. Memories are not forgotten but that summer was four months out of my life and four months out of all of theirs. A mere stepping stone in all of their acting careers and I am honestly amazed at where people have ended up since we left. Broadway,national tours and quite a few people have worked at Summer Theatre in Meredith Village or other summer stock theatre in New England. All my friends from Amherst and NEC have put up tirelessly with my spazzy emails and freaking out about stuff related to the Barn and I appreciate all of them putting up with me. Now that this transition has fully passed. My summer at the Barn will now simply be in memories and the memories of that summer are quite lovely. From now on though In the past they will stay.. they should have remained in the past the second I left the Barn. I think I would have been a lot better off emotionally that way and I would have had to put myself through a lot less anxiety being able to trust that people hadn't forgotten about me or memories we had that summer.
25th year Onward and upwards to bigger and better things. Can't wait for what this year will hold

Moving on to the next phase

It's August already... wow this summer has sure flown by. 18 days til NY and 29 days til Project Search starts. I am currently at work at the Chamber of Commerce waiting for the assignment of my next task..figured i'd update while I had a little downtime.

This summer has been so busy. I've been mostly occupied with my job at Chamber and my job at the Boys and Girls Club. Last weekend was my mom's bday. We went to see Pursuit of Happiness at Milford Area Players on Saturday night. The play was really good. Sunday night we went to dinner at a Mexican resturant in Manchester. Typically I do not like Mexican food but this resturant was particuarly good. This weekend I went to the movies with Matt on Friday night. We saw GrownUps which was a fairly decent movie. I'm a realtively big fan of any movie with Adam Sandler in it. Saturday Matt Sonya and I spent the day in Meredith. We first went bowling at Funspot.. one of my lowest scoring games ever then we did some window shopping in Mill's Falls Marketplace and met Nancy Barry, John Baker and Brandon Santoro at Town Docks for dinner. A realtively inexpensive alternative to Gisueppe's where we usually eat. Then we went to see Chicago at Summer Theatre in Meredith Village. Maggie Politi Matt Rickard and Christina Giordano were both in the show it was really great to see them again. All signs point to my Theatre is My Life blog for a review of the show.

I am excited about Project Search starting. I have been growing frusturated with finding a job and I am hoping the skills I gain from this program will help me to get a full time job. My goal is to move out of my house by next year and move to Nashua or Concord. Of course it depends where I find a job.