Economy!

So I am so frusturated with the economy. I can't watch the international news anymore because it's just more doom and gloom about layoffs and unemployment numbers rising. I can't stand it!
Mind you I have been out out of work and searching for a job since October... yes October the 15th of October to be exact. There have been very few bright spots in my search. Those bright spots have included a brief publicity internship with Peacock Players, a youth theatre troupe in Nashua I might actually see if they are hiring camp counselors for the summer if I don't find anything else by then, a freelance writing job for the Milford Cabinet which is going fabulous (2 articles published so far) and a substitute paraprfessional educator for the Nashua School district which I just started about two weeks ago. That is going fantastic so far though it only pays a certain amount of money per hour. The thing that is the killer is finding a second job. Not very places are hiring right now and I am getting frusturated because I am running out of options for places to apply to. Stress city! I need to start paying back my loans from NEC soon. I am planning on going back to school in the fall to take classses at the Tech College in Nashua hopefully taking those classes will help me to gain additional skills that I will need so I can move up in my carreer or hopefully turn over a new leaf because I'm not really sure how much journalism will end up paying in the long run.

Time for bed. I've been sick for the whole week and I need to kick this cold so I won't be hacking all over guests at my superbowl partry tomorrow. That won't be very attractive.
Love
Janine

Wow!

So last night I was looking over my livejournal and I came to a realization of how unhappy I was last year through out most of the school year because of the situation with the falling out with Will Porter. Most of the entries in that livejournal consist of me being angry at myself for the way I acted. What I realize now is that I was totally and completley depressed about drifting apart from Will. I was scared to admit to myself that I was depressed. most likely because the last thing I wanted to do was go on medication for depression when I was so busy and overwhelmed with school work and graduating and what I was going to do after I graduated. I also realized that I was foolish in worrying that everyone from the Barn Playhouse have forgotten about me. I wonder how many of the other people I worked with picked up on the fact I was depressed. Hopefully not very many of them did. And then I realized how much senseless worrying I did about being annoying to everyone I worked with about various things. Boy was I overreacting a lot.

The thing I am most happy about now is that now I can look past all that now and not be so angry at myself anymore and not freak out so much about being annoying to other people. Can't let insignificant stuff like that drag me down. Nope! :)
So the past is in the past and I'm quite delighted with the present! :)

The economy is a pain in the butt

So i am kind of disappointed. My boyfriend and I were planning on going to New York in March but we might have to postpone our plans til later because of money issues. This economy is so frusturating. Hopefully it will improve soon. I am still in the process of finding a second job Subbing and the freelance writing job for the Milford Cabinet are both going fantastic but that only puts a small dent in my bank account and when it all boils down to it I need to start paying back my loans from NEC soon. If I go back to the the tech college to take classes in the fall then I will need to pay tuition for those classes too. I am beginning to wonder if going back to school may not be the best idea at this point in time. While I think taking classes will help me get a job that I would very much like to have or will help me to do better in the education field I just feel like I should focus more on finding a job. I don't know... I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I don't have to decide on that til April.

but yeah the economy is just reallly frusturating to me.. let's just leave it at that.

OVerall

This week was a good week!
*2nd article got published in the Milford Cabinet
*Came up with an awesome idea for the a student film project for the tech college
*Got paid for the 1st two articles I wrote for the Cabinet
*Sleeping over Heather's tomorrow night
*Subbing is going well.
*Going to see the play I wrote an article about on Saturday with Matt.
*I think all things considered this season of American Idol is going to be the best yet.
*Working on a sequel to the last story I wrote for short story workshop class.



Looking foward to:
*Superbowl Sunday getting together with some friends
*Valentines Day- The first valentines day will I be happy and not cynical. Going to see Godspell at Peacock Players with Matt.
and naturally NYC second weekend in March with Matt and seeing Bily Elliot! :)



Not much else to write about.
Love
Janine

Change!

History has been made! Barack Obama was innagurated at noon as the 44th President of The United States, the first african american president. His whole campaign was based on the theme of change. What can I and the rest of the people of the United States hope for in the coming four years.
Health Care is a big thing I'm hoping will change. This may not affect my right away but it will certainly affect me in the long run.
The biggest thing that I hope will change will be the war in Iraq and all other wars that are happening overseas. Haven't heard too much about what's going on in Georgia recently so I guess that conflict ended but the conflict that has been all over the news recently is the Palestinian-Israeli conflict in Gaza. I think they called a cease-fire to that in recent days but I am not sure how long that will last for. As far as Iraq and Afghanistan go we've been fighting over there for far far too long. We should've never gone over there in the first place in my opinion and I think that after Saddamm Hussien was captured we should have just left the Iraqis alone to get their own government in order. I may not know anyone who is fighting over there directly but I've seen through the stories on the news how this war is tearing families apart wheather people are coming home alive and injured or wheather they come home dead. The sooner we are out of there and all of our armed forces women and men are home safe the better!
Another thing that I am hoping will change is the economy. That has not been in good shape for several months now and every time I listen to the news and hear about more people losing their jobs I get depresssed. I've been searching for a job since October and the economy has been a factor as to why it's so hard to find a job. I am hoping that more new jobs will be created for people all over our country and that the economy will stabalize itself.


HORRAY FOR BARACK OBAMA!! Things can only look up from here!

Today's Rant- Resolutions

So livejournal has this thing called Writer's Block where they pose a question to you. I do not really use livejournal as often as I used to because I do all my ranting on her now and all my personal personal ranting in my private journal. Nonwe of the most recent questions they had were very good ones so I decided to go back to the one that was posted on Jan 1st which was aboult New Years Resolutions and how I plan to better improve myself this year.. that is what today's rant is about...since I do not really have much to update about. These thoughts for the day willl be provisional fillers for when I do not have a lot to update about.
I've never done a great job of keeping up with New Years resoulutions so this year my main goal is to do a better job at keeping up with my resoulutions. Most of the reason why I do such a bad job with keeping up with my resolutions is because I totally forget about them or because some of them are simply too hard to attain goal wise (aka: making deans list) This year one of my main new years resolutions is to excercise more and eat a lot healthier then I have in the past year. What attributed to my weight gain was the fact that the dining hall at my school didn't have a lot of options also that I doing a lot of unnecssary snacking and not excercising enough. Since I've gotten home from college I've lost 8 pounds solely because I've been eating my mother's cooking. I plan on excecising a lot more then I have in the past year or too. I have to put a lot of more effort into that then I have because when I was had school I did a poor job of managing when I worked out because I was too busy with academics and going to clubs and activity meetings. Though I suppose it's a good thing that I walked everywhere. This year, however I will have to excuses not to excercise more often so I plan on fullfilling that resolution.

Top Rated Songs on my ipod Jan 1st- Jan 16th
96,000 In The Heights
My New Philosophy You're A Good Man Charlie Brown
We'll Have Tomorrow Little Shop of Horrors
Romeo and Juliet Dire Straits
Man I Feel Like A Woman Shania Twain
Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy Queen
Crazy Patsy Cline
Our Time Merrily We Roll Along
I'd Do Anything Oliver
Don't Tell Mama Cabaret
It Couldn't Please Me More Cabaret
Picture To Burn Taylor Swift
Mix Tape Avenue Q

Changing my course

Such a distance between entries is good.. that means I'm keeping busy and thus will have more to update on.
I started substitute teaching on Monday. My first two days of subbing ( Monday and today) went fantastic and I am really hoping that I get called in again soon. Sometimes I regret not majoring in education when I was at New England College because I am beginning to realize now how much I really like working with kids. At the time when I was selecting a major I was having a hard time choosing between Education and minoring in theatre or communications with no minor. I chose the latter thoguh I decided at the beginning of second semester of junior year that I wanted to minor and English but didn't have enough time to complete all the credits before graduating because I made that decision so late in the game. My passions were writing and theatre and they still are because I love doing tech work and writing about theatre plays. But I like working with kids too and think that working in a school would be a good fit for me. My life course is changing rapidly and honestly I feel really confused.
My classes at the tech college will be put on hold for right now. I thought long and hard about medical coding and did research on it and decided it wasn't for me so I withdrew from the class. I am still considering taking speech pathology classes though possibly some early childhood ed courses too. That's going to wait til the summer or the fall once I get a grip on the educational path I want to take or even if I want to go back to school at all. I might just want to get a decent paying job and focus on that so I can save up money to get an apartment in Portsmouth.
Last night I had a girls night at Heather's apartment with Heather, Autumn and Erin. It was so great to see them again since we all hadn't hung out together in such a long time. We were originallly planning to go out to dinner but due to limited funds we had dinner @ Heather's which was just as good as going to a resturant. We had lasagna which was incredibly delicious. :) We definitley need to have another girls night again soon. I look foward to planning it.
PTA Play auditions were last week. I went for moral support for my mother who was trying out for ensemble. I would have auditioned too but I am way too busy. Maybe next year I will audition depending on how busy I am and what show they are doing. I am however doing publicity and props work for the show and I am really excited about doing backstage work again. I haven't done backstage work since July when I teched Wonder of The World at the Boys and Girls Club in Milford. YAY!! :)

2009 Events
February-
5- NH Theatre Awards (hopefully I can find a ride to the ceremony)
Valentines Day Weekend- Going to see Little Shop of Horrors with my boyfriend for Valentines Day
28- Valentines Party @ NEC
March
13-15th (tenative) Going to New York with my boyfriend. Hopefully the plans work out for this. I am so excited about seeing Billy Elliot
27-29th SHS Musical; CTE Play
April
Mainstage Show @ NEC ( do not know exact dates yet)
16-19th PTA PLAY PETER PAN!! People better cone see it!
24-May 1st SPRING AWAKENING TOUR COMES TO BOSTON (who wants to go)
SHS Evening of Dance
May
Movement Concert
16th- NEC GRADUATION ( my loves Cooper Sheila Gina and Erin are graduating

Later
Janine

NYC... What is it about you?

So my boyfriend and I are making plans to go to New York City the second weekend in March. I am so excited. Whenever I compare Amherst and NYC there is almost no comparison at all. Amherst is so boring and NYC is so full of energy.. as is any city in NH or Massachuetts that is not Amherst. I have already been thinking of what shows I want to see. The list used to be super long but a lot of shows I wanted to see closed over the past couple months due to the downturn in the economy those shows included Xanadu, Legally Blonde, Grease, Spring Awakening (Jan 18th), Gypsy (today) and Forbidden Broadway Goes To Rehab (Thursday). Billy Elliot has been on the top of my list for a very long time because I have heard it is phenominal. A lot of new shows will be opening as well such as West Side Story (my absolute favorite) and HAIR (which my friend Jay is in as an understudy). I don't know.. there are so many choices. It's going to be so hard to pick one.

This trip to New York will also hopefully be the chance for me to reunite with some people who I have not seen in a long time. I have a lot of friends who live or go to school in school in and around NYC: NYU, Hofstra, Syracuse ( i don't know if that is very close to the city) and then some places in Connecticut and New Jersey. It will give me the chance to see some friends from high school who I did theatre with that I have not seen since I graduated as well as some people from NEC that I have not seen since I departed from Henniker in May. Colleen Fee is helping me to get together my coworkers from the Barn Playhouse too. It's gonna be insane..so crazy. I am really hoping this party will have a super huge turn out.. that's what facebook invitations do me quite well for.:)

In other more close to home type news this week is very nerve wracking for me. I have a potential job interview @ the Tech College in Nashua, a job placement test with Vocational Rehab in Nashua on Wednesday morning and I am starting my class at the Tech College on Thursday night. I'm so anxious! I really want to get the job at the tech college it would be the perfect setting for me because I will be on a school campus helping other students. I am really crossing my fingers. I am getting together with a bunch of my friends on Wednesday night for a girls night I am really excited about that!

Time for bed
Love
Janine

Goals- Places to visit

In October when I was in New Jersey for my cousin's wedding I was in the bookstore before the ceremony and I was browsing through this book 1,000 Places To Visit Before You Die. I complied a list of places in the United States that I want to visit. Here it is in case you are interested.
I've actually done a good job... some of places listed in there include Disney World, Salem, MASS, Kennebunkport,Maine, Ogunquit Maine, Fenway Park, The Muesem of Native American History in Washington DC, The Empire State Buillding, Ellis Island and The Statue of Liberty just to name a few
Within the next 5=10 years these are places/things I want to see or go to
Everglades National Park
Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
NYC @ Christmastime with all the lights everywhere
Nashville
New Orleans
Nantucket
Hershey Pensylvannia (YAY CHOCOLATE)
Graceland (where Elvis Presley lived)
Coney Island
and I also want to go back to Washington DC because the last time I went it rained the whole time I was there so I didn't really get to go to a whole lot of places.

Has anyone ever been to any of these places and if so what can you tell me about them?

Excitement!

SUPER FANTASTIC NEWS!!

I got a phone call earlier this evening from the HR department at the Tech College. They offered me a part time secetarial positon. I am so excited. I haven't had the interview yet but I am really realy hoping that I get the job. That would be such a good job for me to have. I may have to put off taking my medical coding class until the fall but if I have to do that then I will be fine with that. I have to get through the interview first to see if I even get the job.

So excited!!

I have realized I am in far too many pointless and sometimes repettive groups on facebook. Being in four or five facebook groups about musical theatre is a little bit excessive I think. It's going to be a long process to limit the amount groups I am in to a level that is good enough for me to handle. To be honest, half of the facebook groups that I adminstrate barely get used because people that are in them are too busy to post on the message boards. This especially for the facebook group I made about working at the Barn Playhouse. I decided to keep that up til the new season starts so people can discuss the upcoming seasons shows but sometimes I am not sure that is too worth it because the majority of the reason I made that group was as tribute to the intern company that I worked with and everyone from that group of people.. including me has moved on with their lives since working at the Barn. It seems really pointless to have the facebook group anymore because 1) no one really looks at it and 2) I talk to most of the people from my intern company through facebook aim, wallpost or regular email. I don't know.

Tonight I went to play auditions for the PTA Play Peter Pan. I went for moral support of my mom who was trying out for ensemble. I am going to be helping out with publicity and props and I am wicked excited to be involved in tech theatre again. I'll probably write about that stuff more in my theatre ranting blog http://theatrereviewer826.blogspot.com/ For those who read this who want to come see the show its April 17-19th at Souhegan High School in Amherst. I do not know the times of the show of the top of my head.

To Do

• Call Tech College to set up job interview- they're calling me back on Monday
• Call Wendy's to follow up on job app (a third time.. might not even need to do that if I get the job at the Tech College)
• Go to backstagejobs.com for fuuture references for jobs in theatres in Portsmouth and Southern Maine
• Make my sister a birthday card
• Work on the sequel to the short story I wrote for my short story workshop class- coming along slowly but surley... will post it here when i am done with it.

Time for bed. Wish me luck on my interview!
Love
Janine

Ways to furthur improve myself (beyond the typical New Years Resolutions)

My mother got this book for Christmas called Change Your Brain Change Your Life a physcology book about ways to improve your brain function. As I as I browsing through it and took the surveys at the end of the chapters I realized there were sometimes when I was at school where I was too high strung about things and that wasn't very healthy for me.
Examples:
The rating skill for these lists rate 0-4 0 meaning rarely and 4 meaning very frequently. If there are more than 5 3s or 4s in a certain checklist that means there is an issue. Luckliy most of my ratings are very low so there are no issues. :)
1. Category: Love and Sadness
Excessive Guilt 2 This was mostly relevant to my falling out with Will Porter and how I felt bad consistantly for putting Nicolina in the middle of our disagreement. I realize now that what he saw then that I didn't see was that we weren't fighting I was just nervous about drifting apart from him... but drifting apart from people will happen from time to time in your life.
2 Basil Galliga Checklist Looking into Anxiety and Fear
Feelings of nervousness and anxiety 2 (this also fits under the excessive and sensesless worrying category under the Cingulate checklist)

• Fear of being forgotten about by the Barn Playhouse interns
• Test anxiety or anxiety I got about doing well in a specific course at NEC ( IE: Dramatic Theroy, Theatre History I, Intro To Symbolic Logic, Way of Science, Multiculutral Education) Oy Vey the many breakdowns I had due to stress about grades. Looking back on all that now I realize I was putting far too much preassure on myself to get on the Deans List because a majority of my friends were always on Deans list. Keri Racicot offered me some very wise advice.. i think i still have the emails she sent me somewhere.
• Falling out with Will Porter
• Job search related stress

Excessive Fear of being judged/scrutinized by people 2

• Not fitting in with the people from Carriage Theatre Ensemble or how uncomfortable certain people in that group made me feel.. names will not be mentioned.

Excessive worry about what others think

• Auditioning for the theatre plays and worrying about the other people who had auditioned before being better than me. I remember when I was nervous about auditioning for the Apple Tree and I was talking to Jennie Leonard about how I was nervous I was on AIM. I think I still have that saved on my computer somewhere.

For the Prefontal Cortex,Temproal Lobe and Cingulate checklist I had mostly ratings of 0-2 not a lot of threes and fours which is good.

In order to have a fullfilling 2009 the key thing I need to do is find easy ways to relieve stress. I tended to get stressed out a lot during school especially during exam time because sometimes I procrastinated on work til the last minute giving me a lot to do at crunch time. I think when it came to time management there were issues that I had with learning to balance my work load with time spent with friends. I am taking night classes at the tech college this spring and I think taking one class at a time to ease into what I am studying will make thingd a whole lot easier on my stress level. I'm also very happy to be moved on from stuff related to the Barn Playhouse. Last fall I was way too hyper focussed on my falling out with Will Porter which then led to eventually being worried that everyone else I worked with forgetting about me. I know now that I am surrounded here my many good close friends who care about me and that the people from the Barn Playhouse are stil my friends too depsite the enormous amount of distance between us when it comes to talking to each other frequently. This is what makes planning the Barn reunion with Colleen Fee for when I go to New York in March with Matt all the more exciting because I will get to hopefully see a majority of the people I haven't seen since I left the Barn at the end of summer 07.

Reading continously will also help to improve my brain function. I did not get the chance to read for pleasure very much during school because I was always reading books and articles I had to read for class. Since I've been home from college I've read between 7-11 books. One of my new years resolutions is to excercise more and that was one of the things listed in the back of the book of things to do to improve yourbrain function. I also hope to write some new poems and short stories. Excercising my creativity will definitley help me to improve my brain

Time for dinner
Janine

Holiday Recap

Happy New Year Everyone!

Things have been so hectic with the holidays and now I'm back on the job search again. I actually do not have a lot of time to write this entry because I am going to be headed out to the Nashua School District office to sign some paperwork for the substitute teaching job mentioned in the previous entries. I have yet to hear back from the following places about status of the job applicatations I submitted before the holidays

• Market Basket
• Walmart
• TJ Maxx
• Marshalls
• Wendy's
• The tech college for secretaria positions I applied for

So we'll have to see what happens with those. Hopefully I get some kind of an offer soon. I mean I'm excited about the substitute teaching job don't get me wrong but I will probably need a second job just so i can start paying back all my loans from NEC.

The holidays were active and exhausting. Heather spent Christmas Eve with us. We went over my aunt's house in Merrimac,Mass for dinner. Meal of 7 fishes= deliclicous and very filling. Christmas was small this year in the way of gifts due to the economy and not having that big of a wishlist. To me presents isn't really the most important thing about Christmas it's spending time with family and friends that matters to me the most. New Years Eve Matt and I went out to dinner at the Peddler's Daughter in Nashua. The food there was delicious. I would definitley eat there again and reccommend it to all my friends. Heather met up with us later and there was band that played and we danced. Afterwards we went back to her apartment and slept over.

I start my class at the tech college next week. I am very excited about going back to school. Learning something new and making new friends. I think I may end up switiching what I am going to take from medical coding to Early Childhood Ed.

So much to look foward to in 09. Can't wait for the year ahead.

Love

Janine