A bit of good new years news

Finally!! After lots of arduous searching. I finally got a job offer! The Nashua School district called me this morning for a substitute teaching job. I go to Human Resources on Monday to sign paper work. Of course that will only be on an as needed basis whenever the need subs so I will plan on looking for something that will keep me busy nights (except for Thursdays/Wednesdays) because that's when I''ll be taking my classes at Tech College and weekends. I have to call Market Basket again on Friday to see if they made a decision yet. If that falls through hopefully something will come of the secretarial postions I applied for at the Tech College.
Things are finally starting to come together for me so I am wicked happy. Job search could possibly be over. Good friends, awesome boyfriend! So much to look foward to in 09.
I am going back to school in January to take some classes at the Tech Colllege in Nashua. Originally I was going to take medical coding classes but I might end up switiching to take Early Childhood Education Classes. The internship at Peacock Players has been going fantastic. Once I get on a set schedule for work and school I will figure out how that will all fit in same thing goes with doing publicity work and props work for the PTA Play Peter Pan.

Happy NewYear Everyone!

Love
Janine

Reflecting on an old reflection

So this entry was posted in my old livejournal lovetolaugh024 on August 24th 2007. It has been edited for length because I need to add my own commentary on how much I have changed at the end of it.

More post conversation with Will thoughts... even though the coversation I had with Will happened three weeks ago. So I think this year is the year where a lot of maturing happens for me. I find myself realizing that all the stuff I have been worrying about for the past 3 or 4 years when it comes to my relationship status and various other aspects of my life are somewhat seemingly insigificant. In fact they are very insignificant because it is really stupid of me to be so wrapped up in what other people think of me... that's what I've been somewhat wallowing in for quite a while and it's time for me to get over myself. I can't continue to compare myself to other people only seeing myself as second best. That only makes me miserable and brings down my self-esteem. I don't need that kind of attitude..... actually I don't need an attitude like that at all. There's no point in feeling sorry for myself when there's much more positivie stuff I should be generating my thoughts toward. When I dissect my relationship status over the past couple years... I mean really dissect it down to the core I realize that I have been somewhat immature all these years and shallow at that.. Ever since high school I have found myself crushing on guys I had no chance with or guys who I was really close friends with who I was afarid of telling I had feelings for them because I was afraid of ruining the friendship we had if I was to tell him how I felt and he did not feel the same way. I also found myself comparing myself to the pretty and more popular girls... those who were always dating the hot varsity jock who I no doubt had a crush on at some point or another. I saw myself as second best to them as far as being pretty was concerned. Similary I kind of felt the same way when I got to NEC for freshmen year even though there were less pretty popular girls to compare myself too but still I had that awkwardness about not being sure when to make the first move and say "Hey (inset name here) I like you." I went through the motions of freshmen and sophomore year finally working up the courage to tell one of my crushes that I liked him but that did not go over so well and there are times... though not so often now as in the beginning where I felt as if I ruined our friendship..but if it did so what? Can't do much about it. This is the year where things are going to be wiped completley clean... when it comes to relationships and my academic life. New Year... same friends although the circle is going to expand a little bit as I meet some of the freshmen and transfer students I have been talking online through out the summer (especially Lauren, Sheila Hollis and Samantha) Academics are a top priority this year so that way I am able to graduate on time. I am hoping that if I do decide to date again during this school year I will have better luck with finding some one who will love and respect me for who I am and be there for me through all things happy and sad throughout the school year. I don't know what I should do about the current crush I have... if I should just forget about it or see what happens with it and see if first the guy I like feels the same way and then to see if anything will become of the relationship. There are plenty of fish in the sea and I;m sure among the sea of fish @ NEC there will be some one for me. Who knows what may happen. As far as my circle of friends changing goes... well things are certainly going to be different this year. My friends Sondra and Judy both transferred to different schools. I am going to miss them both a lot but hopefully they will come back to visit, I also just found out that my friend Ali who I roomed with last falll but our rooming situation did not work out so well transferred to a college in Colorado. I am kind of bummed because I felt like rooming together last fall kind of put a rift in our friendship and I wanted to spend this semester repairing that rift a little because the last time I had talked to her she told me that she was transferring in the spring of next year. That's why the fact that she transferred now came as kind of a shock to me. New Year new friends... and for the most part our core group will stay the same.

Looking back on this old livejournal entry I realize that over the past year I have grown and changed quite a bit. Senior year was a huge eye opener. Will and I have not really spoken to each other a lot since we left the Barn Playhouse. There have been certain points when that has made me kind of upset but I've gotten over that bump in the road now. Looking back over all my old livejournal entries I have realized that I was realy immature in the way I dealt with certain situaions and that led to determental things in long run. Such as posting angry blog posts on myspace about how my rooming situation with Ali Graham wasn't working out. Ali and I are still friends though we don't really talk as much as we used too. Mt circle of friends has grown and changed since I left NEC. I still have my core group of friends though it has grown with additons of incoming freshmen. I have realize that facebook kind of controls my life in certain ways and it shouldn't. One of my new years resoulutions is to spend less time on facebook and stop sending out so many group messages and event invites about pointless things because I have come to realize that that really gets on people's nerves. (Thanks Maggie) I recall another conversation that I had with Will about livejournal and blogging and how I should keep my personal thoughts off the internet. If you noticed there was a gap between when I updated this blog between March and October. That was in part because I was overwhelmed with school work and in part because I had a lot of personal stuff I was dealing with that I did not deem very approriate to be posting in an internet blog where everyone can read it. I have awesome friends and an awesome boyfriend and I am very grateful that they are there to support me whenever I have times that are rough for me.

2009 looks to be an awesome year! I can't wait for what lies ahead.

Love
Janine

2008 in review

Not very much left in 08 so let's review
2008 In Review
January: Christmas Break, only just beginning the 1st process of looking for a job
February: School was school, Valentines Day was pretty lonely. That will be very different this year though
March: SPRING BREAK IN NYC! Barn REUNION! Seeing RENT it was all glorious
April: Was on stage crew for Fuddy Meers... what a way to end my involvement with the theatre department @ NEC.
May: Graduation
June-July looking for a job and working at Marshalls and volunteering at Crotched Mt inbetween, went to see Carosuel at Interlakes Theatre with my boyfriend, saw Tea For Three (JI show at the Barn Playhouse based on my mom's book What A Pest)
August: Italy, my birthday, started my job at Callogix
My job at Callogix did not work out so I have been looking tirelessly for a job since then.
Spent good times with great friends.
Nov/DEC: Holidays are always fun
New Musical Endeavors: Ani Difranco, You're A Good Man Charlie Brown Soundtrack, In The Heights soundtrack
New Television Endeavors: Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice,One Tree Hill
New Literary Endeavors: The Twilight Saga, The Sunday List of Dreams, Bridge of Sighs
Top Rated Broadway Soundtracks on My Ipod throughout 08' Little Shop of Horrors, Annie Get Your Gun, A Chorus Line, Cabaret
Favorite Movies of 08' Ghost Town; Crybaby, Evita, Cabaret, Little Shop of Horrors, Twilight

Ways to better myself in 09

I suck at making and keeping New Years Resolutions. Here are mine for this upcoming year.
1. Get my poetry anthology I am working on self- published by the summer
2. Exercise more
3. Try out for the play at school and see where the chips fall for casting too busy with Peacock Players stuff and PTA stuff to do it this semester maybe next semester.
4. Try a new aspect of tech theatre out- lighting or sound design
5. See a play at the Palace Theatre in Manchester
6. Go to the the tour of Spring Awakening when it comes to Boston in the spring
7. Write a new poem or short story... or two or three or four
8. Pass my medical coding class decided medical coding was not for me. Going to take either early childhood ed or speech pathology classes starting in the fall.
9. Get a job that pays good
10. Start saving up for the apartment I want to get in Portsmouth

New Song Lyrics...

So these song lyrics may not be that great. This is for a contest on all poetry.com. My prompt was horror story being chased by a monster in graveyard. constructive cricticism welcome
Monster Chase
It's dark and chilly on Halloween night
the graveyard is barren at 45th and BroadwayNew York is prettier at Christmas time
Halloween was my favorite holiday long ago
but I guess there's nothing wrong itI'm just not one to believe in the paranormal
(Chorus)Twlight on Halloween night
I tense up and look behind me
my heartbeat escalates
cuz a monster is chasing mewith blood dripping from his mouth
Witches warewolves
The paranormal surrounds me
I'm not one to believe in ghosts
I'm not afraid of anything
people don't believe me but I'll prove them wrong
(chroua)I can feel his breath on my nec
kit smells like his last mealis this real?
is a warewolf really chasing me?
I can't fathom it
(chorus)
I'm out of breath but I have nowhere to hide
I'm shaking on the inside
(chorus)
Suddenly I realize that i've been scared for no reason
just someone in halloween costumeout to scare the common folk
not to mention he was drunk too
the rancid smell on the tip of her tounge was beer

(chorus repeat 2x til fade)

And god descended from the heavens and said let there be light and there was light

We had a huge ice storm last week. The power was out for 6 days. It was rather ridiculous. The power came back on @ 5:30 on Wednesday evening and I was so happy when it did. We do have a generator but only selected lights worked and once the power was back on it was good to not have to use a flashlight.

My first article for my freelance writing job was published in the Milford Cabinet yesterday. I am so stoked and proud of myself To read the article click the below link

http://www.cabinet.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081219/ARTSANDOPINION/812199997

I am so happy it finally snowed. Snow is my favorite part of winter.. but when there is still snow on the ground in late March or early April I tend to get a little peeved. It's gonna be a white Christmas after all. My family Christmas party was last Sunday. It was a blast. It's always nice to see my family. My boyfriend came and he seemed to have a good time. We're going to Peacock Players tomorrow to see the Christmas Spectacular. I am excited! Christmas is in 6 days.. I can't wait! AT this point in my life presents aren't as important as spending time with my family is... I'm not an overly materalistic person. I am wracking my brain trying to come up with new years resoulutions but its a struggle. Keeping them is harder once I actually come up with them. I'm not really that great about keeping my resolutions but this year I hope to give myself easier goals to attain.

Later

Janine

Two of my most recent poems

Here are two poems I recently wrote. I hope you enjoy them!


Based around the song quote "There is no future .. there is no past I live this moment as the last." from the song Another Day from The Broadway Musical RENT

Live For The Moment

I think it's important to surround yourself
with things that make you happy
anything anything at all
to make you feel better if your skyshould seem to start to fall
Live and let let livein the moment"there is no future there is no past
I live this moment as the last."
Live each moment for that particular moment never let memories of good times falter
while at the same time not letting them drag you down
Can't let the bad thingslinger or dwell ont
ime for focus on the good
that's what should be remaining strong

the next poem is holiday themed!!

My favorite time of year
It's starting to get intomy most favorite time of year

has been since I was littleand forever it will be

Christmas!!

Time for togetherness and joy

for every adultand girl and boy

Sleigh rides through the meadow

with flakes of crystal falling all around

gingerbread house and cookies

I am in winterwonderland bliss

it is truly the most wonderful time of the year.

Ready to start over brand new

I am looking foward to the new year starting. 2008 has had its ups and downs. I had a lot of issues with moving on from the theatre that I interned at last summer the New London Barn Playhouse. I do not want to go in to detail about exactly what happened because I am trying to block it all out. Basically I was over anxious that I was going to be forgotten about by everyone that I worked with and I thought letting of of the memories would mean forgetting about them. It is important to realize that those memories will always be with me and while there are some people I haven't talked to from that group of people in a long time I am not easily forgotten. Job searching has certainly been a downer. Due to how bad the economy is I have really been struggling with finding a job. I've actually been kind of stressed out because I need to start paying back my loans from NEC soon.
I am going back to school on January 12th to study Medical Coding at the Tech College in Nashua. I am very excited about going back to school and learning something new. I am aleady planning on joining the Literary Magazine and theatre. I might join the film club too. I need to email the club advisors to let them know that I am interested. Theatrewise I am planning on doing tech work for the upcoming Peacock Players production of Godspell in February. Godspell is one of my favorite musicals ever. I am also going to be helping with backstage work and publicity for my town's community production of Peter Pan which is in April.

I really want to go back to New York this spring. I am hoping to save enough money to go back. I am dying to see Billy Elliot. I've heard it's amazing!

LAter
Janine

Getting in the holiday spirit!

So unfortunatley due to poor scheduling I had to cancel the Holiday party @ NEC on Friday because of the fact that it was scheduled too close to finals week and a lot of people couldn't make it. Oh well , my friends and I are already planning something for when school starts up again at the end of January to make up for it. Yesterday Matt came up and we went out to dinner and to the movies to see Twilight! New favortie movie! I am so happy. Today we went to the Milford Holiday stroll. We both agreed that the Pumpkin Festival in October was a lot better because there was a lot more to do but we still had an enjoyable time. We got to see an improv show done by the improv troupe from Peacock Players which was hillarious! Family Christmas Party next Sunday.. can't wait.

I honestly don't have much else to say so I wonder what the purpose of this update is. Job search is stil going really really slow. I had two job interviews last week one at the Nashua School Department for a substitute teacher job and one at Wendy's as a cashier. Tomorrow I have an interview @ Florence Rideout Elementary School in Wilton for a paraprofesional job.

Once the new year starts up I will be busy. Hopefully I will be working, I'll be taking medical coding classes at the tech college in Nashua and of course I will be doing stuff with Peacock Players. I am hoping to do stage crew for Godspell which is the next show that Peacock Players is doing. Godspell is one of my favorite musicals ever, I also want to see if I can help out with Stagecoach Production's performance of Floyd Collins in March and I am doing publicity and props work for the PTA Play Peter Pan which is the first week of April. Is that overkill?

Later
Janine


Advice from Maggie Politi about the stuff related to the Barn Playhouse interns "We all love you,just trust it."

Top Rated Songs and... soooooooooo ready for the Holidays

Top Rated Songs on My Ipod

Months of October/November

if bolded it means recently downloaded
1 . How To Save A Life The Fray
2. Moonshine Lullaby Annie Get Your Gun
3. Happiness You're A Good Man Charlie Brown
4. I'd Do Anything Oliver
5. Out Tonight RENT
6 Picture To Brun Taylor Swift
7. Faded Love Patsy Cline
8. Hey Jude The Beatles
9. Sealed And Stampless Traces David
10 Fly Evan Goodrow Band11.
Grace Rebecca Loebe12.
Arizona Star Traces David
13. Belief John Mayer
14. Memory CATS
15. I Feel The Earth Move Carole King
16. I Have A Dream/Thank You For The Music Mamma Mia
17. Romeo and Juliet Dire Straits
18. Skid Row (Downtown) Little Shop of Horrors
19 There's No Business Like Show Business Annie Get Your Gun
20. My Girlfriend Who Lives In Canada Avenue Q2
1 He Called Me Baby Patsy Cline
22 There's A Fine Fine Line Avenue Q
23 Music of The Heart NSYNC f/ Gloria Estefan
**********************************************************************************
To say the least the past couple months have been really really stresful with job searching. I am almost to the point where the stress is driving me up a wall because I am so stir crazy. Thanksgiving was a welcome break from all the stress. We went to Mass to go see my cousin Cameron play football.. AWESOME GAME then we went over my aunt's house for dinner. I was stuffed but not as stuffed as I usually get. Friday I spent the whole day reading Twilight and it is one of the most amazing books I have ever read.. I think this series will be so much better then the Harry Potter series. I also finished New Moon so now I am anxious to read Eclispe and go see the movie of Twilight.
As far a job searching goes there have been a lot of roadblocks. I am going to a job fair for the Nashua School System on Thursday afternoon to apply for substitute teaching jobs so we'll see how that will go. *crosses fingers. I also have a job interview at Wendy's Friday @ 2:30pm for a part-time cashiering job. Peacock Players is going well. I've been really busy with helping them get ready for the Christmas Spectacular Variety show which is opening on the 19th. I emailed Tim L'Ecruyer and asked him if they needed tech people to help out with Godspell which is the next musical they are doing.... one of my favorite musicals of all time. He said he would give my name to the stage manager and that who ever the stage manager is willl get back to me. So excited to be doing tech theatre again! WOOT!! I am just looking so foward to the holidays in general.. Christmas is my favorite time of year.
Upcoming holiday events
Milford Holiday Stroll on Sunday
Holiday Party @ NEC with my friends next Friday
Family Christmas Party the 14th
My sister's Nutcracker performance for Dance Team on the 20th.

I have to start thinking of New Years Resolutions. I never exactly do a great job at keeping my resolutions. I can't even really remember what some of my resolutions from last year were or if I did a great job with keeping up with them

Time for bed!! I have to be well rested for work at Peacock Players tomorrow.
Love
Janine