Game Winning Point

Well my volleyball game last night went suprisingly well. I really underestimated myself and was nervous for no reason. We played four matches and lost all four of them but the last one was pretty damn close. I scored theree points in the fourth game on a few excellent serve. It's amazing if i hadn't scored the game winning point in the volleyball game we played at Dominic's birthday party last summer i probably would have never even thought to join the volleyball team in the first place. Who would'a thunk that this music geek who was in chorus and theatre in high school could totally change her tune and become athletic? That just shows how much interests can change over the course of two years. I've been going on and off all year with thinking about quitting theatre I go into spasms where I want to quit and spasms when I don't want to quit because while I may not make any of the shows I still have two more years left to get into shows so maybe I souldn't totally give up yet. On the opposite side of the coin doing showcase is a lot of fun but after this semester I am not totally sure if I still want to do it anymore because of the fact that as I have stated in a previous entry ( can't remember which one) where I said that I really don't have that much talent aside from writing poetry. I can't sing and i'm not all that great of a dancer.. well we'll see how chorographing the dance with Alexis for the showcase in May goes (whenever that is, Vivian hasn't set a date yet) I'm kind of excited about that because it will push my comfortable limits a bit.. cuz that's what life is all about pushing one's comfortable limits and thinking outside the box. It's amazing how the Souhegan mission statement rings so true after two years of being out of high school. Well before I go off on too much of a tangant I'll go back what i was talking about.. was that even a tanagent .. i don't know but anyways..... Yeah i don't know about the whole sticking with theatre thing next year. For some reason I kind of sense it getting a little bit old maybe because I've been doing theatre related stuff since high school wheater it be backstage crew for plays at school or theatre camps in the summer.. god lots of good memories from that and Jared Nathan omg what a dreamboat... haha there i go with digressing again. I don't know I honestly get stuck sometimes with wheather or not I still want to stick with it.. I have so much fun with my theatre friends and really enjoy hanging out with them and I've grown a lot closer to lots of them this year... well maybe not lots of them but quite a few of them and they know who they are but honestly I think i'm ready for a change because I got a different feeling out on the volleyball court than I ever did when I auditoned for any play i've audtioned for.. I can't explain it really.. it's just a new type of energy i guess. This kind of a weird feeling for me because I was never the athletic type in high school at all. I was more of the superfan.....more of what I still am today but I never actually was part of team... I played soccer when I was younger and was on a swim team one summer but other than that sports were not really my thing...not in the least bitHopefully if any of my friends from theatre read this they won't get to upset with me.. though i can't quite see why they would.

BEST Freshmen and Sophmore Year Memories

i paging through my old lj that i crossed over to this one and i was lost on the over bearing nostalgia of last year and last semester

Top Favorite Memories

1. Theatre Department Christmas Party at Keri's 2. Showcase last spring ( GALOSHES hee hee i heart Zach) 3. Improv show last semester 4. Hanging out with the theatre people and celebrating Darren and Vivian's birthdays (which was after the improv show. I was really hyped up on sugar that night due to too much soda and pie which caused me to leap clear across the common room of the theatre suite and scare the shit out of Darren) 5. Spring Weekend6. Native American Lit class field trip to DC (despite the rain) 7. Haunted Hayride 8. Salem Witches Muesem Field Trip 9. Laramie Project 10. Tartuffe 11 being on stage crew for Betty's Summer Vacation Honestly with memories such as those you can't go wrong. This semester is shaping up with many good memories too. I can't wait til the second half of the semester it's going to be awesome and less drama filled. Sometimes I really think i am one of the most overcritcal person when it comes to myself. I am way too wrapped up in the affect i will make on people if that makes sense. I put too much preassure on myself to good grades which doesn't make the academic part of school too much fun for me. Last semester that was a really big pain in the ass because i was so paranoid with getting good grades where i almost reached nervous break down mode a couple times. I get annoyed with myself that I can't seem to get out of the mindset of worrying about what other people think of me... like that whole thing I went through during christmas break when I thought the theatre people thought i was annoying.. that showed me that i was overly worried about what certain people in that group thought of me.. i spent th firsr couple weeks of this semester trying to figure out if i should bother comforting the people who i thought i annoyed but afterwhile i didn't really deem it to be that worth it to worry about because if they don't like me then that's their problem but i think for the most part they like and don't get quite as many dirrty looks from the person who was giving me dirty looks so that works for me. Something that i also to find that bugs me a lot is that i haven't really out grown my shyness factors around guys... I was laughing at how immature i was last year when I gave Ford that flower for valentine's day which in the end he didn't end up recieving. I felt like such a shallow person last semester when I was nervous about telling Zach that i liked him and then i was worried in the days following telling him that I liked him that it ruined our friendship but that was really dumb to worry about because there's a slim chance that it did. I think the main reason why i am so shy around guys is because i am afraid of rejection. I've been like that since high school and i think i need to get over it. For some reason it's hard to get over.... I'll need to get over this eventually because there's no way in hell i plan on being single the rest of my life.and on that note i leave you with a song*sings*through all kinds of weatherwhat if the sky should falljust as long as we're togetherit doesn't matter at allwell they've had all their quarells and partedwe'll be the same as we startedjust travelin along singing our songside by side*makes like a crow and flies away*

2nd reminder of the awesome friends I have.

Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or fogotten." Lilo and StitchLately I've been thinking a lot about my friends up here at NEC and how much like a family they've become to me. Especially, with all the shit i've been through this year between my uncle passing away in September and all the shit i've had to deal with with my issues with Christina. Quite honestly I don't know where I would be or how the fuck i would be kept sane without my friends to keep me laughing and smiling. I think a lot of the time I don't give them enough credit where credit is due.. so this is my salute to them all of them.....Jennie, Darren, Zach, Emily, Megan, Amy, Alli, Erin L, Tim, Lauren (though i haven't talked to her in awhile); Erin R, Jackie, Keri, Sarah; Chris, Cooper, Marion, Anh,Amanda (bitch at me later if i forgot anyone but i don't think that I did.) I love you guys dearly and I honestly don't know where I would be with out you. loveJanine