Worst NEWS EVER to get before Christmas

Got some news today that it absolutley sucks to get before Christmas I bet you can guess what it is from the subject heading of the entry.I had a meeting with my manager today and she basically said I am getting laid off after January 4th. One more day this week. Two days next week mostly likely one or two days the week after New Years and then I am done. When they originally hired me in September I clearly remember them telling me that they were going to keep on beyond the holiday period. Apparently the overhired can now only keep a certain amount of people after the holidays. Despite how hard I have been work they are one of the first seasonal workers that they are cutting for the payroll. I am SO pissed off. It took me so long to get this fucking job and now I'm back to the seaech process again. This absolutley sucks. So much for visiting Rae in March at this point it doesn't look like that's going to happen anymore. I am praying that it won't take me as long it did the first time around to find a job and that Matt will find a job soon soon. That way we willl both have mooney to do things we want to do together INCLUDING GOING TO VIST RAE!Gonna go now and do something to distract myself. Perhaps work on the Little Shop of Horrors fan fiction I am writing.Merry Christmas Everyone!

Predictions for 2010

1. Matt and I will save enough money to get an apartment in Portsmouth

2. Heather Matt and I will all get full time jobs

3. Go to Italy for Lucia's wedding

4. I will get a job at Summer Theatre in Meredith Village this summer

5. Kristin and Cameron will get into their top choice collleges C- Bowdoin K- Vassar

6. Go to New York in March to see A Little Night Muisc. If not then go to NY in November for the Macyy's Parade

7. All Boston sports teams (college and pro) will win the playoffs

8. Anh and Lucia will visit

9. Housing market and economy will stabalize

10. Afghanistan war will end

Random thought before I go to work

I am honestly stil left in a lurch over the whole situation with what happened between me and Will Porter after we left the Barn Playhouse. That whole situation was a learning experience for me and taught me a lot about my own maturity. However, I often think my worry was onesided because while I forgave myself for the way I acted I am all the more curious if he ever forgave me for the juvenile way I acted toward him. I mean I'm sure he's forgotten about all that and I don't know why the ocassional thought seems to linger on me. I guess when it comes down to what I want to know even if it's sublimiarly is weather or not the way I acted toward him will affect my friendship with him in the long run. I'm sure down the line at some point we'll run into each other again and I guess I'm still sligjtly worried that things could be awkward between us. Is that a legitimate fear to have or should I just forget about it all together and see what happens?

Even two years after the fact there are still a lot of unanswered questions and it kind of drives me insane.

The 11 days til Xmas Update

So the past couple of weeks have been really hectic and there are only 11 days left until Christnmas. Work has been keeping my busy and seemingly focussed that I seem to have forgotten I was ever stressed out at work to begin with.I sent in my writing samples and resume to Nancy Barry to apply for a publcity job at Summer Theatre in Meredith Village for the summer. If all goes well with that I will stay at Target til the end of May and then go to work for Nancy starting at the beginning of June. *crosses fingers* I have yet to hear back from her about weather or not she recieved my writing samples.What else has been going on? Let's see November 28th I went to the Christmas stroll in Nashua with Matt and Sonya. That was fun. We went out for Ice Cream and saw and improv show @ Peacock Players. The plans for the party at NEC fell through on the 5th so we instead went to the Milford Holiday Stroll which I must admit was not as fun as the Nashua Holiday Stoll. Thursday I had the day off from work so I went up to Matt's house in Kennebunk for the night. We went out to dinner and went to see New Moon. New Mooon is not really as exciting as it hyped up to be in the advertisement. I'm not saying I was bored.. I enjoyed the movie but I thought that Twilight was a lot better. Friday moring I helped decorate Matt's house and we went to get the tree.. we headed back to my house around 5 because Sonya suprised us with treating us to see Judy's Scary Little Chrstmas in Nashua. The play was hillarious. I have never laughed so hard ever. For a review please go to my theatre review on Blogspot. Saturday night my mom had her friends over for dinner and it was great to see them again. Yesterday I went to Boston for my annual family Christmas party which was fun! It's always great to see my extended family on my mom's side. Busy work week ahead! It will fly by I am sure and then next Friday is Christmas! Honestly I don't know where half the year has gone.

Christmas is coming Christmas is coming

It is finally my favorite time of year.. the time for carols and eggnog (which I never drink) and hot cider and cookies and laughter and joy and LOVE.... CHRISTMAS!

Since my last update I have been mostly consumed by work between Target and writing not one but TWO Milford Cabinet articles.. money in the bank! I was very happy that I got all my shopping done before Black Friday though as I started to do my wrapping this morning I noticed that one of the clothing items I brought had a run in it and I need to return it BUT I lost the receipt somehow so I hope the store will still be able to take it back.

Thanksgiving was deloverly! We had a bit of an issue with getting out of the house on time but were still able to catch the final 20 minutes of cousin Cameron's last football game of his high school career. Unfourtnately they were defeated 20-6. We then went to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving dinner stopping at my grandfather's house for appetizers right after the game which is five minutes down the road from my aunt's house. Biggest crowd ever this year at my aunt's house 30 people! Pretty crazy definitley a lot of fun. :) I worked at Target on Black Friday.. not so much fun! I was so stressed out the whole day for various reasons and I was happy to have a much less stressful shift respetively on Sunday and Tuesday. Saturday night I went to the Christmas Stroll in Nashua with Matt and we met up with Sonya. We went out for Ice Cream and then went to Peacock Players to see an improv show which was hillarious.

Next weekend is the busiest weekend ever Matt and I are planning on going two plays (though that might end up getting cut down to one because of budget) and next Sunday is my family Christmas party in Wakefield Mass I am so excited. :)

One thing which is currently causing my considerable stress is what else but money? Matt and I are hoping to go visit my friend Rae in New Jersey during her spring break at the beginning of March and take her to a Broadway show as part as a belated 21st birthday present (her birthday was Sept 24th) but money may be an obstacle. I don't know at this time what the total will come to but at least we won't have to pay for a hotel because Rae and her parents invited us to stay with them. I am so excited about staying at Rae's house! :) We're considering driving down to NJ which will also save us some money but I think it would be easier if we either took the train or the Peter Pan bus. I have gotten pretty good deals for the Peter Pan bus for the last two trips for New York I have gone on. Then there is whole issue with paying for the play tickets and going out to eat after the show. The theatre district has some pretty expensive resturants in in from previous research I have done trying to plan reunions with my Barn Playhouse friends who live in the city. Play tickets can be pretty expensive too but I am hoping we can get some kind of discount on the tickets. My parents think I am being unrealistic by wanting to go but I disagree. I understand fully that I have to consider paying back my loans from NEC which I am not exactly looking forward to doing but it has to be done. I think I can find enough of a balance between the money I need to use to pay my loans back and the money I plan on using for the trip which really won't amount to much in the end if we end of driving down and since we are staying @ Rae's house. Hopefully everything will end up working out because I haven't seen Rae in such a long time and I am looking so forward to seeing her again. :)

Thoughts

So things have been pretty busy lately. My hours are starting to pick up at Target because of the holidays so starting next week I will be getting more hours then I have been recently. My grade in Speech and Language Development got upped from a B- to a B which is super exciting. My mom and I met with Vicki Chesterly on Thursday afternoon after work to discuss my future in the program for Speech and LanguagePath. She suggested what I should do is go out in the field and observe Speech and Language Pathologists to see what they do and to see if Speech and Language Pathology is a field I really do want to go into for a career. I foresee that I will struggle a little bit with this field because of my disabilities but it my main goal in life to help children with disabilities so hopefully I will be able to over come my obstacles in order to achieve that goal.
This weekend was a blast. Friday Matt and I went Christmas shopping at the mall with Sonya. I feel super accomplished because I got all my shoppping done six weeeks early so I don't have to deal with excessively long lines after Thanksgiving. Yesterday we celebrated Matt's birthday. We went Glow Bowling at the Leda Lanes Lighthouse which was a different experience from going bowling at the regular Leda Lanes Bowling Alley. It was fun. Afterwards we went out for dinner at Bertucci's which was awesome and amazingly delicious. Today I went to the SHS Championship Football Game which was intense for a majority of the game. Souhegan won 49-29. Go SABERS!! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!

This week I will be so busy. When I am not working at the Chamber or at Target I will be working on not one but TWO Milford Cabinet articles which are due at the end of the Thanksgiving Holiday period.

Things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Having a job in this incredibly tough economy.
4. The fact that I don't know anyone who is fighting in Iraq (at least not in my family)
5. My relationship with my amazing boyfriend


That's all for now
Janine

Drama... BE Gone

Over the past two months I have had to deal with a significant amount of drama.Part of which involved an argument I was in with my best friend Heather which has since been resolved. I am very happy we are not fighting anymore. The second part of it involved a few of my friends from NEC who shall remain nameless.. it is best to let them be for the time being and not talk to them though I think they are not talking to me for pretrty dumb reasons. I can't let that bother me too much though. That has been too much of a problem for me over the past year/year and a half and I think in order to prove that I am mature and not an insttigator of off stage/screen drama then I will not let this stuff or any ofther drama that goes on betweeen my friends at NEC bother me. I need to distance myself from all of that and try not involve myself in it. I find that to be a HUGE mistake I made last year and it came back to bite me in the ass later because linking myself to drama I was not even involved into to begin with caused me stress I didn't need and disallowed me to focus on stuff that was going on in the present. I went up to see the CTE play at NEC last weekend and met up with Laura Hachez her boyfriend Joe and Leanna Pizer before I went to the play only to learn that the drama continues. Laura and I both determined it is best for either of us not to get involved in the affairs of others and let people work things out on their own. As I said I have no time in my own life whatsoever to deal with other people's drama nor should I have to in the fiirst place so it's best that I keep my distance from all the drama that goes on at NEC. It still makes me rather upset that my group of friends has gotten so diviided since I graduated. I can't control what is currently going on between certain people but I guess I can only hope that people will realize how far apart this stupid drama has split apart everyone.

I am happy I don't have to deal with drama anymore.

Honestly, this world is insane! Don't know how many people have been watching the news and have heard about the Tradegy at the Ft Hood army base in Texas. I didn't really think such a violeny act yhay could kill so many people could happen on our soil. I think the war is really messing with people's heads and this incident is clear proof that the war has been going on for WAY to long and needs to end. I am just happy I don't know anyone who is fighying over there.

Thanksgiving is coming up soon. Quite honestlly nothing about that holiday really excites me though I am looking very forward to seeing my cousin Cameron play in his last football game, I had so much fun last year when I went to see him play. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday and I can't wait for that season to get here. I love celebrating the season with family and friends! Laura and I are trying to organize a holiday party @ NEC. We'll see how well that will work out based on how many people from our group of friends are currently not speaking to each other. Even if it's jist me and Matt Laura and Joe LEanna and James and Autumn I'll be happy with tthat small intimate group. We'll have to see how the guest list will turn out. My family Christmas party is December 13th and I always look foward to that because I get to see my extended family on my mom's side which dare I say is HUGE!! We only get together twice a year @ Christmas and July 4th so it's so great to see everyone. Though it is kind of far awqay I am hoping to see if I can get a groip of my friends together to go to Portsmouth for first night festivities on New Years. Plans for that probably won't start getting organized til the day after Christmas! Yay for the holidays!


I am vaccinated for the H1N1 flu! Usually I am not very good with getting shots or getting blodd drawn but this time I tried not to worry so much about the shot and everything ended up been fine. I feel the H1N! Flu has been way too hyped up in the news which is part of the reason why I was so nervous about getting the shot in the first place.

Nothing else to report really... this entry is pretty long as it is.

Until next time

Janine

The year has flown by

It's November already. This year has flown by way too fast. It's hard to beleive Christmas is a month and 25 days away and that soon after that it will be 2010. Wow!



Something has been deeply concerning me since the beginning of the year.



My friends at NEC are most definitley a second family to me. Throughout my four years at the college they have helped me through a lot... espescially senior year which was the hardest year emotionally in so many ways. My circle of close friends has kind of drifted apart due to drama that has arisen in various situations since I graduated. I FULLY UNDERSTAND I have no control at all over what goes on since I no longer go to the school but basically the group is pretty split down the middle. It makes it next to impossible to plan parties because there are so many people in the group that no longer speak to each other. It is really frusturating. When I went up to and still continue to go up to NEC to visit it seems hard to see everyone all at one time. It is frustuting because we should not be letting immature drama affect our friendships and yet we are doing that. It is not the best way to handle things. Drama should not dominate or dictate situations or friendships.



I wish the clock could be turned back and things could be reverted back to the way they were before I graduated when there was no tension and no drama. That's kind of imposible at this point but it's really a wish that I wish with all my heart could be granted because I miss everyone and truly miss the way things used to be and all the fun times we all used to have together.

Felt the need to get that off my chest... moving on.

All my hard work in Speech and Language Development really paid off and once again I caused myself academic anxiety for no reason. I got a B-! I am so pumped. I have new faith in myself now to continue withe the major. I feel nothing can stand in my way now. I am probably not going to sign for January classes until the last minute because I am applying for an internship program at St Joseph's Hospital. The compettion for the program is tough because there is only one adult spot open/ I really hope I get called back for an interview and that it goes well.

My uncle and aunt came to visit from New Jersey a few weekends ago. It was very nice to see them again. I hadn't seen them since August when I went to NJ for Violet's Christening. On Saturday Matt and his mom as well as my uncle Steve and Aunt Sue came over for dinner. We had a soup and pizza fest. So awesome!! :) This weekend Cooper came to visit and we went to Heniker to go see the CTE Play Seasonal Help which was one of the best CTE Plays I have seen in awhile. We met with Leanna and Laura for dinner before the show and I learned of more drama that has happened recently. I try to distance myself from it as much as possible because it frusturates to no end whatsoever. As I stated at the beginning of the entry I know I can't get involved in what is going on because I don't go to the school anymore and have no control over what happens between people. I just wonder if people realize how much this behavior is really affecting everyone else in the group. It is really a shame that there have been so many rifts made in the relationships of others that affect the overall cohesiveness of what WAS such a tight knit circle of friends.

and all I can do in this situation is wonder...

Crossroads

So tonight was my final in Speech and Language Development. I am happy that the class is over because I found the work to be very time consuming. The topic matter was very interesting and I definitley gained a new knowledge and appreciation for language and how it is formed. I am crossing my fingers that I did well on my final because the grades on my previous exams (midtem , a&p quiz a&p quiz retake) were not that great. I am hoping also that the grade on my presentation I did on Tuesday willl help to boost my grade at least a little bit.

Right now I find myself at a crossroads. Clearly from I have struggled in the past two Speech and Language Pathology classes I am not really sure if this is the right path for me to go down. One of the main things that I want to do is find some kind of way to make a difference in life of children with disabilites and I figured Speech and Language Development would be the perfect way to do that since I had a speech disorder when I was younger but overcame it due to working with a speech and language pathologist.Figured I could make the same type of difference in a child's life that the speech and language patholigist I had when I was younger did for me. I did not expect to be bombarded with so much information all at once both from this class and the class I took over the summer. It was a lot for me to take in and catalog in my brain. Especially all the medical terminology. I feel like I have let myself down in a huge way because I wasn't able to get a good grade in these course.
As I said right now I am at a crossroads because I do not know if going back to school is even the best option for me right now. I was considering switching my major to Medical Coding and not taking classes again til January but I might end up deciding to totally bypassing school all together because I need money to pay for the tuition and I can't afford it right now. I feel like it would be better if I just focussed on getting more skills in the workplace so I can eventually get a job in the field I got my degree in at NEC.

So much to think about it.. right now it's time for bed. Working at Target 11-3 tomorrow so I neeed my beauty rest.

Janine

Mix Bag

The murder in Mont Vernon has completley turned this community upside down. I am still in shock about the whole thing and that 2 kids from Souhegan were charaged in conncetion with crime. It is very eerie how close to home this whole thing hits... truly eerie and truly amazing.
Right now I should be studying for my final for speech and language development.. I will get back to that as soon as I am done writing in here. Overall the class the been very interesting. The course load has been demanding and somewhat challenging. So much material was thrown at me at once and I feel like there wasn't enough time to catalog it all in my brain. I did learn a lot though. It gave me an intereting perspective on how people communicate with each other. Due to financial issues I will be taking a break from school from the time being so I can take sometime to think if Speech Lang Path is the field I want to persure. If this not end up being my choice I still have my degeee from NEC to fall back on and will continue to look for a job in that field or jobs at theatres in the public relations department.
Possible Fields of study I could into instead of Speech Lang Path if I decide to go back to school in January:

• Marketing Certificate
• Spreadsheet Certificate
• Early Childhood Certificate
• Human Services Certificate

So we'll see where things end up with that.

Alumni Weekend a few weeks ago made me really nostalgic about NEC. I don't really miss the town of Henniker because there is not much to do there but I miss the general atmosphere of NEC and all my friends. Basically I just miss being in the college setting.

I miss

• Theatre
• SEC Events
• Midnight Madness
• Movie nights with my friends
• International Night
• Pancake Breakfasts at the end of each semester

I do not miss

• 3:30 am fire alarms
• 8:30 am classes (luckily I did not have too many of those)
• Anxiety I put myself under about passing certain classes and getting on deans list
• the food at Gilmore Dining Hall (except for the omlettes and the ice cream)

I wonder if things would have been different if I had chosen to major in education at NEC?When I was thinking about going back to school for Speech Pathology that thought constantly ran through my head and it still irks me. At the time when I was deciding on what to major in at NEC I was having a really hard time deciding what to study. I was choosing between education and communications because I had two passions that I wanted to persue.. working with kids and writing. Theatre was an added passion but I didn't think there was too much I could do with that since acting is not really a strength. I consider that more a hobby then something I could make a job out of. Not trying to offend people who are studying theatre or who have studied it. I am sure people find their own individual succeses in whatever field they choose. I chose to stick with my passion for writing and study communications. At this point I am not saying I regret that choice.. I just wonder if things would have been different if I had chosen to major in education or could have found some way to create my own major in order to combine all three passions (education.writing and theater) together. I guess it will just take a while to find a niche and a job that I truly like. Right now I am working at Target and that is going well so far. Can't complain too much really. I do think I need a second job or find some way to get more hours so I can start paying back my loans from NEC. I also still have my freelance job at the Milford Cabinet which is going well.

Something else I have constantly wondered about my four years at NEC is how much different things would have been if I had not been involved in so many clubs? I met a great deal of people through being involved in various clubs at NEC and had fun being involved in all the activities the clubs put together. However, a thing I had a lot of issues with was time management skills and managing my time between meetings, going to events and homework. I realized that if I had done a better job at managing my time and given myself more time to focus on my homework then I would have done better in my classes and been able to more easily achieve the goal of making deans list each semester. If I could go back and do my four years at NEC all over I think the main thing I would do diffferent would to have not to have been part of so many activities. My goal with being involved on campus was to get a good diversity of activites under my belt and mix old experiences with new ones. That goal was very easily accomplished. I was in 13 clubs at one point and that was way too many clubs to be in. I often found myself to be frazzled because as the years went along the work load in my classes got relativley harder. As I said before time management was a HUGE issue for me

If I could do my four years at NEC over again these are clubs I would have joined and stuck with throughout the entirity of my four years

• Carriage Theatre Ensemble (student run theatre troupe)
• CAB/SEC (Student Activities Committee)
• WNEC (Radio Station) had i not been involved in so many other things I would have had more time to do my show
• New Englander (Newspaper)
• TEACH (community service club for education majors)

Well.. enough procratinating back to homework.

Janine

Murder!

So over the weekend there was a murder in the neighboring town of Mt Vernon. It is eerie that something like that could happen so close to home and even eerier that two high school kids from the high school I graduated from five years ago have been charaged with being connected to the crime. Something of this nature would be expected in a big city like Manchester. But Mont Vernon? No.. not at all. Everyone in my town is in total shock and I am too.

Alumni Weekend 2009

This weekend was homecoming weekend at NEC. My best friend Alli from NEC came to visit me for the weekend and it was so great to see her. Friday morning I did homework and then Matt came @ 3:45 and we went to go get Ali at Manchester Airport. After we picked up Ali we went out to dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse. I got fried shrimp... maybe not the best choice for the diet I am supposed to be on because the last time I went to the doctors my cholesterol was a little high. After that we went to Souhegan to watch the football game. It is so different to be going back to SHS to watch any type of event after having been out of that school for five years. Mostly because the last of the people that I knew graduated the year I was a freshmen at New England College and the only people I know who still go there are my sister and all of her friends. The game was pretty good.. though by the end of the third quarter it was clearly obvious that Souhegan was going to win the game but at least it wasn't a total washout like the last game when Souhegan won 48-0. Yesterday I had to work and it was pretty much a day in reveiw because I got trained to work in the fitting room and since I have done that at Marshalls and TJ Maxx it was pretty self-explanitory and easy training though there were a few new things that I learned. After work Matt Ali and I headed up to Henniker. We missed the barbecue by about 10 minutes so we went to Sonny's Main Street Pizza for lunch... made a somewhat better food choice and got pasta alfredo with brocolli. The weather was really crummy and we estimate that that is why the attendance was so low. Most of the people in my immediate group of friends had to work but I got to see a lot of people I hadn't seen in awhile. After hanging out in the pub and catching up with old friends we went to the fieldhouse for the Rennisaince Fair which was where a few clubs had tables set up selling things and local artists were selling their artwork. There was also a magician but we just caught the end of his show. Since it was family weekend I didn't get to see a lot of my friends who still go to school there since they were doing stuff with their parents but I will mostly likely see them in a few weeks when I got up to see the Carriage Theatre Ensembe play Seasonal Help. Being at NEC definitly flooded me with a lot of memories from my time there from movie nights to theatre shows from Spring Weekend to March Madness from performances in the coffeehouse to comedians, I miss the people I went to school with moreso then the town of Hennker. A lot of stuff haschanged since I left.. especially a much needed update to the Simon Center Cafe in terms of food and ambience. I have yet to try the food though. I will have to do that the next time I go up there at the end of the month. Aside from the weather Alumni Weekend was awesome and I can't wait til next year. After driving home in what seemed like a torriential down pour we went out to dinner at Red Arrow Dinner.. hot dogs and beans for dinner and a small taste of Ali's Mac and Cheese. I feel like I should have gotten something a lot healthier then a hot dog. I don't even eat hot dogs a lot except during the summer at barbecues.


In other news.. I have been so stressed out because of my class at the tech college. I have realized since my last entry that the course material is way too over my head. I have decided not to continue with the major. There goes one dream out the window but it's better to give up now because the classes will just continue to get harder. It may not be in my best interest to go back to school right now. At this point I am completley confused about the path I should take. I may consider going back taking the rest of the semester off and then take medical coding classes in January but I am leaning closer and closer toward just focussing on work for the time being so I can pay back my loans from New England College. My job at Target is off to a fabulous start. I am really liking it so far and meeting a lot of new people.

That's it for now.

Love

Jamine

Key Word of the Day: Revitiliazation

Since I turned 24 I feel like I have suddenly gained a new lease on life. I feel like I have revitalized myself. I have been 24 for almost a month (my birthday was August 26th) and I feel like things are looking up.
I feel like most of the past two years was mostly spent in isolation in a lot of way due to my depression related to the Barn Playhouse and all subsequent issues related to my falling out with Will Porter.
In regard to this I have realized the following things:
* No one in my intern company has forgotten about me.. and no matter how much I tend to doubt it Will most likely hasn't either.
* As much as I drove myself crazy with thinking Will does not hate me or think I'm a stalker.
*Memories of Summer 2007 are never forgotten and never will be forgotten
* I need to stop apologizing and feeling so guilty. People forgive me. I just need to forgive myself and let things go. Had I done that a while ago I would have made thinga a lot easier for myself and wouldn't have had to put myself through anxiety and put my friends through unnessary stress that they did not need to deal with.

The transition in regards to stuff related to the Barn took longer than it really should have. Time to put the past in the past.. where it belongs. Lock it up and throw away the key. Memories are never forgotten or lost.

Stuff related to the Barn was not the only transition that I had issues with,,, when I graduated from NEC last May that transition was really hard because I was starting my own life away from NEC and life at NEC was going on without me. I felt rather distant from all my friends from NEC and in a lot of ways I still do. I still keep in touch with the main people (Cooper,Erin and Stacey) but other than that I feel like things are changing too much.


Part of my revitialization and reinvention process invovles focussing on the here and now. Much of the past two years has been far to fouccesed on the past and I can no longer let the present pass me by. That will not be very good for me. As I said time to put the past in the past.
In the prior entry I mentioned I am going back to school to study Speech and Language Pathology at the tech college in Nashua. Those classes are going quite well and I find myself developing a new and deeper knowledge or language and how it is formed. Something I never really gave much thought to in the past. My goal in going back to school is to hopefully go to Graduate School at UNH for speech and language disorders and work for a school system. My relationship with Matt has been going fabulous. We have been going out for a year and I seriously could not be any happier in that regard. I also recently got a part time job at Target as a fitting room attendant/cashier. I am starting training next week and can not wait. Once I get a bit more money the next idea I have in my reinvention and revitilazation process is to join a gym or take some kind of fitness or yoga class.

Additionally, though i am not definitley sure of this yet my revitlization process may include getting rid of facebook. I feel as if the use of facebook really does hinder my maturity in a lot of ways. In order to prove to people I am mature I feel like the one thing I sould do is to get rid of the thing that hinders my maturity level. Deleting facebook is not set in stone yet. I am still deciding if that is the best thing to do at this point.




Update Dec 14th Since I wrote this entry I have thought long and hard about continuing with Speech Language Pathology or simply reconsidered going back to school in general. I was shocked and quite proud of myself when I got a B in Speech and Language Development..that was unexpected. When it came down to the cold hard truth of the matter there were some aspects of this field that I feel and my mom and professor agree that my disabilities could hinder. I was disappointed with the decision originally but then relaized that I have to be sensible too. IF I was struggling with certain aspects of the course material I would only continue to struggle more as the classes continued to get harder. Plus the classes were way too expensive and at the current time I could not afford them.. financially it is not possible for me to continue at this time because I have to keep in mind that I have also pay back my loans from NEC back and the last thing I want to do is add more financial stress to myself by having to pay back additional loans. Right now I am trying to apply for a job training program at St Joesph's Hopsital in Nashua and if I get accepted into that I may decide to swtich my major and study Medical Coding. If I don't end up getting into the job training program then I will just continue to work at Target until I find a job that gives me more substanial pay.

So releived!

The job search is finally over. Yesterday I had an interview at Target and was hired on the spot as a fitting room attendant and cashier. I feel things are starting to finally fall into place in my life. Great boyfriend. School is going well and now I don't have to be under so much iminent preasssure to pay my loans back from New England College.


There is however the ongoing lingering issue of how much time I spend on facebook and how frusturated people seem to be getting with me by sending too many group messages. This has been an issue ever since I left the Barn Playhouse two summers ago. I am well aware with what I need to change about the way I act so that way friendships are not put on the line. Now that I have school and work to focus on my time spent on facebook will be drastically cut back.

Job Search Update

Job search update

Market Basket

• Milford-  All positions filled
• Nashua  near  TJ  Maxx and Panera   All positions filled
• Nashua Somerset Plaza   Applied for a day position for  cashiering. Will hear back to set up an interview with in the next week.

After School Programs

• Adult Learning Center  Position filled but a new position could open up at any moment
  
• 21st Century-  Still wating to hear back.     Weather or not I get the job depends on enrollment.  Same thing applies for New Morning School. They are supposed to call me back on  Tuesday.

TJ Maxx called me in for a second interview on Friday so that looks promising.

I applied at Wallgreens and am going to apply for a data entry job at a staffing center in Wilton tomorrow.

In other news school started last night and  I think I am in for a really challenging semester. This class involves a lot of reading and analysis.   The analysis will be the difficult thing.  I have made the ultimate decision that it is a bad idea to get involved in clubs and activities on campus.  I will not have time between academics and working if I ever get a job.   The only club  I will have time for will be Speech and Language Path Club  since that club applies to my major and  will  mostly be used as  a study group   but we are also getting guest speakers to come in too.  Film Club was debatable for awhile and  I am still not sure about that. 

Later

Janine

Back to realtity

This weekend I went to New Jersey for a family function. On the way we went on college tour of Vassar College in Pouhkeepsie New York. My sister is trying to get a feel for where she wants to go next year and Vassar is one of the 10 colleges on her list. We were all kind of exhausted from traveling and it was raining so it wasn't as enjoyable as I would have liked to be. We ended up taking a tour again by ourselves Saturday afternoon after we went to the FDR Meusuem. The mesuem was neat. I didn't really know too much about FDR, his presidency or his family life. I am not typically a huge fan of museums no matter what the subject matter of it is but this was very interesting. After the musuem and our second tour of Vassar we headed to my uncle's house in New Jersey where we had lobster for dinner. Then me and my sister went over to my cousin Jessica's house to sleep over. Yesterday was her daugther's christening which was a very nice ceremony. My sister is the godmother to the baby. There will be pictures up soon both on her and on facebook. After that we had a huge catered lunch at my uncle's house which I was very full by the end of. I got a suprise when my aunt's sister invited me to go see a play at Drew University with her her husband and her granddaughter. The play was called Noises Off. It was quite funny... I haven't laughed so hard in awhile. Today we left my uncle's at 10am and took two mini college tours of Fairfield University and Conneticut College. My sister had mixed feelings about Fairfield but really likes Conneticut and that is proably going to move up to the top of her list right next to Northwestern and BU. I thought both campusses were very pretty.

Now it's back to reality.. and the bleakness of the job search. I still haven't heard back from TJ Maxx yet so I am curious to know if they made their decision. Let's hope that works out.. I really need a job. School is also starting and I am excited about that this semester has laid ahead for me.

Time for bed. This weekend has been long. I am exhausted.

Janine

Lots to update on... not much time to do it

I should have been in bed two hours ago bc i have to go to NJ in the morning and have to be up @ 6:30. (make that less than 5 hours)
Job seach update
J and J Party- did not have enough retail experience
Lilac Blossom: All hostess positions filled
TECH College Wellness Center Clerk: Position filled
Market Basket they are going to call me in for a interview early next week
After School Programs

• Adult Learning Center (Nashua -Main Dunstable Elementary School) - Position filled
• 21st Century (Nashua Amherst- St Elementary School)- still waiting to hear back
• New Morning School ( Amherst -Clark and Wilkins)- Will hear back from them by Monday or Tuesday once they find out how many kids they have in the program

TJ Maxx is supposed to call me back on Monday about the position in the fitting room.

GRRR this is getting so frusturating!!

So let's see... Anything Goes was a decent play. I enjoyed myself. Please go to my theatre blog for the full review. It was nice to go to the Barn Playhouse again but I am happy to report that after several months of depression about stuff related to the Barn and stuff related to my season there I am fully ready to move on. I am done with driving myself crazy and being obsessed. It is not worth it all. No one from my intern company has forgotten about me or any of the fun times we had that summer, no matter how much I tend to think that Will Porter still has and despite the distance everyone is still friends with me. I should have just let all this stuff go a long time ago. It would have made things so much easier for my mental sanity and I would have not driven all my friends so crazy. Thank you everyone so much for putting up with me! You won't have to deal anymore with spazzy emails from me. You all know who you are.. or at least I am hoping you do. I love all of you so much.

Wednesday was my birthday. I am 24 and feel like I am a new person, Typically a birthday is just a birthday but for me this marks the beginning of a whole new me. As I just mentioned above I spent most of the past year and a half being anxious depressed and nervous about stuff related to the Barn Playhouse.. it is time to put the past in the past totally and completley and focus on the present and future. Focus on my friends and amazing boyfriend.. that's what truly matters and all that should. The memories of the Barn Playhouse will always mean a lot to me but it's not fair for me to focus on the negative emotions I have felt about stuff related to the Barn and how much things have changed there since I left there two summers ago. I can't control any of that... I should have realized that a long time ago.. that would have really eliminated a lot of my anxiety.

Anyway as I highlighted at the top of the entry the job search is still very slow going, stressful and frusturating. I am annoyed that I still have not found a job yet. I have been looking for about 8 and half months now maybe a little bit more. I am really hoping something will surface soon. If nothing does the least I can hope for is more hours for subsitute teaching at Milford and Nashua. School starts on Tuesday and I am so ready for classes to start. The summer has seemed to drag on forever since my summer course ended on June 30th.... mainly because my homework gave me less stress off of job searching.

Time for bed... seriously! Although I suppose whatever sleep I do not get tonight I will get on the way down to NJ in the car.

Love Janine

Exhausted!

This weekend I went to Matt's house in Kennebunk for a family reunion. It was awesome to meet all his family. They all seem very nice. We had a delicious dinner of gumbo and sausages. I had never had gumbo before..it was quite good and i am not typically a fan of spicy foods at all. Yesterday we went to Glouschter for his bowling tournment. I thought I would be immensly bored but I actually enjoyed myself and learned a little bit about bowling and how a professiomal bowling compettion is run. Today we met my parents @ Wells Beach which was nice and relaxing.. but yet when all the events of this weekend are all added together I am quite exhausted... a good night's sleep is well deserved, Last weekend I went up to Meredith with Matt and Sonya to go see Oaklahoma. It was an amazing show. I truly enjoy going to see shows at Summer Theatre in Meredith Village and am so excited about their season next summer. One of the shows they are doing next summer is Chicago which is one of my absolutle favorites. It was so awesome to see Maggie John Baker and Marco again.. it was a really big surprise to see Marco because I didn't even know he was in the show. Good times!

Saturday I am going to the Barn Playhouse to go see Anything Goes. Earlier this summer I was a little bit leary to even go to the Barn Playhouse at all because I had gone through a really deep depression about stuff related to that theatre and how the management there had changed since I left there two summers ago but I've learned to live with that.. I really don't have a choice because there is nothing I can do to change anything what's done is done. I am done feeling guilty about over reacting and fearing that people have forgotten about me. No one has forgotten about me that was dumb to worry about in the first place.


Time for bed.
Janine

Lots to update on

Well July is half over and it's been a couple week since my last update. Job search is still going very slow. Today I applied for 2 jobs and reapplied for 2. Reapply- Market Basket, Fridays and tech college Wellness Center Clerk New Submittals: Lillac Blossom   J and J Party Supply and the tech colllege book store.   HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT!!  The Nashua School system  is going through a huge budget  deficit and because of this all recently created jobs had to be cut that means this position is  no longer available.  Yet another roadblock.  The search presses on. 

I miss my sister immensly! She is away for 5 weeks at an intensive journalism program in Chicago Illinois at Northwestern University. I am very excited for her to come home next Friday and hear of her adventures.

2 family reunions in one month. CLASSY!! The first one was our annual 4th of July get together which is always fun. It's so great to see my extended family. This weekend was my grandma's 80th birthday so my mom''s immediate family and some of my grandma's close friends gathered together at our beach house in Hull Mass for a party. Great fun! Great food! Horray! In between these weekends of festive events with my family I went to Meredith to go see Grease at Summer Theatre in Meredith Village with Matt and Sonya. For a few review of the show please direct yourselves to my Theatre is My Life blog. The show was amazing and I can't wait for Oaklahoma next weekend AND TO SEE MAGGIE LOUIE AND JOHN BAKER AGAIN!! :) IT was so awesome to see Matt Densky again on the 10th. It was great to catch up with him after not seeing him since I left NLBP. The following day Matt Heather and I spent the day at Wells Beach DELIGHTFUL!!! I hope I get to go to the beach at least one more time before the summer is over.

Not much else to say really. Time to migrate over to my other blog for my weekly commentary on So You Think You Can Dance

Janine

Screw June JULY is bustin out all over!

My class at the tech college is practically over. On Thursday class is optional because we getting our tests back and watching a movie. I think I am really going to like Speech Pathology. I am nervous about my final though because I did horrible on the quiz two weeks ago and need it to retake it. If I don't do well in this class I can't continue in the major.. WICKED anxious!
June had very few things worth talking about in this blog going on. Matt and I celebrated our on year anniversary a few weeks ago. We went out to dinner and went on a Portsmouth Harbor Cruise (two sepearate days) The weather lately has been HORRIBLE!! Nothing but rain for the past three weeks so sick of it.

Notable Celeberity Deaths in the Past Week *Ed Mcmahon * Farrah Fawcett * Michael Jackson * Billy Mays
Personally I think Michael Jackson's death is highly overshadowing the death of the other three people. All of these people had meaningful careers in their own right so I think it's only fair that they get equal news coverage. As far as MJ goes I liked his music but I wouldn' t say I was a diehard fan. His music was the only thing about him that was really of any interest to me. As a person I thought he was really strange. Something didn't quite shake me right about the sexual assault allegations that were brought against him in 2005.

July looks to be a lot bettter month.. weather wise and also in terms of stuff to do. This weekend is my annual 4th of July family reunion in Boston. Always a blast when my whole exteneded family gets together. Next Friday I am going up to Meredith to Grease at Interlakes Theatre. I am so looking foward to the show...and to see my coworker from the Barn Playhouse Matt Densky again HORRAY!! The 11th my friends and I are going to the beach then it is my grandma's 80th birthday. Fun fun!

The job search is getting really monotonous. I am about ready to take the rest of the summer off from looking for a job and start up again at the end of August because there is pretty much nothing avaiable right now. Hopefully in September I will get more hours for subbing..being on the sub list for 3 differnt school districts should be a HUGE assett.

Time for bed, Gotta be rested for work at the Chamber of Commerce tomorrow.

Janine

Wow! It's been a couple weeks

Legit, I haven't written an entry of purposeful update in about 3 weeks.. so here's my update

May 23rd I went up to Maine with Matt and took Cooper to a Portland Seadogs game for his graduaion present. I wish the weather had been a little bit warmer because it was over cast and bit chilly. The Seadogs were creamed by the Conneticut Defenders 12-1 but it was still a good time anyway. After the game we went out to dinner @ the Sebago Brewing Company which was really delicious. If you're looking to go out to dinner at a resturant in Portland Maine definitley go there.

The reason for my extended absence in updating is because I am taking a summer class at Nashua Tech College and when I am not looking for jobs I am studying. I am very happy I chose to go back to school for Speech Pathology and wonder why I didn't study Special Ed at NEC in the first place. The class I am taking is called Phonetics and it basically a class that talks about how diffferent words are formed in the English Language. Very interesting stuff. I have my midsemester quiz on Tuesday and hope to do well on it.

The Tony Awards were on TV last weekend and overall I thought last years show was better. The host has a lot to do with my opinion. Whoopi Goldberg was last years host and she made everything about the show funny and worth while. Neil Patrick Harris was just... blah. I don't even watch How I Met Your Mother so i am not that familiar with him as an actor. HAIR won best revival for a musical and I am so excited. I was so honored to have seen an award winning musical! I feel Billy Elliot was too over dominant and that the awards should have been spread out better amognst the other musicals.

My one year anniversary with Matt is on Monday. We celebrated last night because our anniversary is during the work week. We went out to dinner @ Applebees. I have never been so happy in a relationship as I am in this relationship with Matt.

and finally down to the biggest gripe of the entry. ... job searching. Still plugging away and growing more and more consistantly frusturated with the lack of opportunities out there at the current moment. The amount of compettion that I face seems to be the biggest factor as to why i am not getting the jobs I am applying for... hopefully something will come through eventually.

Janine

Upadate while on a brief homework break

Haven't written a substanial update in a while so here ya go...
Last weekend I went to Maine and spent some time at Matt's house in Kennebunk... which is gorgeous. His cousin Tim and wife Melanie came over with their baby daughter Abby who was so cute!! Saturday we went to the Portland Seadogs game which was Cooper's present for graduation. We met up with Cooper Jon and Nick Heilner. It was a good time despite the cold and outcome of the game Connecticut creamated Portland 12-1. We went out to dinner at Sebago Brewing Company which my friend Erin Ludwig recommended. I was totally disappointed she could not meet up with us so hopefully I will get to see her whenever I go to Maine next. The food was really good and I highly recommend if you ever find yourself traveling to Portland. It was a great weekend. I can't wait to go to Matt's house again. :)
Job search has not really picked up any recently. Roadblock after roadblock seems to pop up. It is getting kind of impossible not to get discouraged. Stupid economy!!! I don't want to be broke anymore. The articles I write for the Cabinet don't really give me much money.. that money usually tends to go to going out with friends.. which I have to less of nowadays because I don't want to go totally broke. I am after all trying to rebuild my bank account from when I went to New York with Matt in April, Hopefully I will get more hours for subbing or a full time or part time job at one of the schools in July
.My class at the tech college started Tuesday night and I must say I am happy that I chose to study speech pathology. It helps me to semi pay back the regret I have for not choosing to originally major in Special Education at NEC because if I get a decent job in that field after I graduate then I will still get to work with students with disabilities something that a long with writing is a huge passion of mine. I love knowing I can make a difference in the life of child. I do not know how long it's going to take me to complete all of the requited classes but THANKFULLLY my general education requirements will all transfer over from NEC so I won't have to worry about taking lab science or college writing. :)


The Tony Awards are in less the 3 weeks... June 7th. I am incredibly excited that HAIR is nominated for 8 awards and will seriously cry if Gavin Creel and Will Swenson do not get Best Leading Actor/Best Supporting Actor in a musical because they were both AMAZING!!! I hope Billy Elliot does really well too.

Ultimately I have decided it would better for my mental sanity if I didn't go back to the Barn Playhouse to go see any plays this summer. I have driven myself and other people plenty crazy with worrying about stuff related to the Barn Playhouse and fearing people from my intern company will forget about me ( which obviously they have not forgotten about me) . Going to the Barn may or may not cause my depression to come back but weather or not that's a deciding factor it's time to move on. I do not necessarily need to go back to the Barn Playhouse to see a show in order to accept the changes that have gone on there since I left. Please read the below poem that basically gets down to the nitty gritty. I would much better off emotionally if I went to go see a play at other theatres such as Nancy' Barry's theatre in Meredith. I actually feel more happy when I go see shows in Meredith and hopefully plan to get a job there next summer if I do not find something that pays a substantial amount of money by January. I have also been doing networking with people that have done summer stock at other theatres in New England and have come up with a list of other places to apply to which include Mount Washington Valley Theatre in North Conway, Hackamatack Theatre in Berwick Maine, Maine State Music Theatre in Brunswick Maine *Will Porter worked there before he worked at NLBP let's see if he answers my email and Ogunquit Playhouse in Ogunquit Maine just to name a few. Oh the joys and powers of networking. :)
Well not much else to say... until later ... much later farewell my loves.
Janine

American Idol Season 8 That's A Wrap

American Idol Season 8 Finale Recap

Summary of Last Night's Finale Performances

Battiling it out Kris Alllen and Adam Lambert.
Protocol last night was sing a favorite song of theirs from the season a pick by the producer Simon Fuller and an original song written
My ratings on the contestants choice stay the same as they originally were
Adam Mad World 4 Good performance not a huge fan of the song
Kris Ain't No Sunshine 8 This one of my favorite songs by him all season long. Clearly one of his best.
Producers Choice (Can't remember either of the song titles)
Adam 6
Kris 7
Original Song
Adam 5
Kris 7
I liked Kris's interpetation of the song better to be perfectly honest. Adam's performance was a lot easier on the ears because there wasn't any screaming.
Totals:
Kris 22
Adam 17
Who will win? It depends on how America voted. I sure hope it's Kris!I'll most likely post another entry sometime later tonight or tomorrow recapping the results show.

AND NOW for the results show summary.....
The final results show of American Idol Season 8!!
Lots of good performances!!! Fergie/Black Eyed Peas, Queen, Kiss, Davind Cook, Ketih Urban, Jason Mraz , Cyndi Lauper, Santana, Queen Latifiah. Overall amazing EXCEPT for Steve Martin. He played a song of his newly released banjo song cd and it was HORRID not to mention it was a duet with Megan Joy and Michael and they are two worst singers from this season in my opinion. They have tradition on American Idol where they salute the people who didn''t make it. Outstanding Male: Norman Gentile OMFG SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!! "I am so happy to accept this award but I didn't come with anything prepared) *rips off clothes reveiling costume underneath "Hit IT BOYS!"Outstanding Female Tatianna Deltoro They seriously did that one just for the drama

Best Attitude Bikini Girl OMG Kara totally showed her who's boss with the singing. She looked so pissed!
and BEST OF ALL..........
KRIS WON!!
Until January when Season 9 starts!
Janine
and now back to your reguarly scheduled ranting...

"It's something unpredictable but in the end is right I hope you had the time of your life"

People pictured in the left hand side photo are me Cooper Bowman, Erin Ryan,Heather Jewett, Jon Waite and Matt Smith. The picture on the right hand side is me with Cooper

Yesterday was a fun day... but a long one. Matt Heather and I first went up to Henniker for the NEC graduation. The ceremony didn't seem quite as long as last years and it wasn't quite as hot in Lee Clement Area either.. of course the main difference there was that I wasn't in a cap and gown. They had some pretty good speakers though no one could seriously top Luong Ung the Cambodian Refugee who spoke at my graduation last year. The three speeches that stood out the most were the one from the class speaker for the Graduate program, a journalist for the Boston Globe whose words of wisdom related to my field and the main commencement speaker Delfeyo Marsailis a jazz saxophonist from New Orleans. I am so proud of my two best friends Cooper and Erin and I know they will do fantastic with whatever they do with their degrees. Congrats to the NEC Class of 09 and those who also received awards at yesterday's ceremony. I had to skip over some names because they were either said too fast and I didn't have enough time to write them down or I couldn't read my handwriting.

Collegium Awards for Highest GPA

Business Ben Glover,Education Margo Lucas,Liberal Arts and Sciences Casey McFarland,Knowledge Growth and Action Denise Bennett, Natural Sciences and Mathematics Danielle Gianacola and Veritas John Doucette

Outstanding Male and Female Students Gigi Griffin and Hiroto Tzu

Creative Arts Award Emma Laing

Pricscilla C Danforth Athletic Award Jodie Dresser

Staff Member of The Year Rene Hellert

Robert A Kilgore Faculty Award Mark Mitch

After the ceremony we stayed around and mingled with people for a bit and then we hit the road to go up to Meredith to go my friend James's house. It was a nice relaxing evening. We hung out played Rock Band and watched Cloverfield. I do not understand why Cloverfield got so much hype last year. I personally thought the plot made no sense and that it was quite boring. We relaxed a little this morning and then headed up to Laconia to go bowling. I had never been to that bowling alley before and it was a good change of pace from going to Leda Lanes in Nashua. The Lakes Region is very scenic and pretty. I want to get married on Lake Winnipasuakee.

Another week of job searching and volunteer work lies ahead. It will certainly fly by fast and then this weekend Matt and I are taking Cooper to a Portland Seadogs game for a graduation and I'm spending the weekend at Matt's new house in Kennebunk. I am so excited!

Time for bed. I am wiped!!

Janine

Down to the nailbiting finale next week!

So I missed most of tonight's American Idol result show because I went to the movies with friends and then went out for dessert afterwards. I caught the tail end and was happy that Danny went home. His performances this week and last were not at all up to par with the performances he has done of the course of the season

Summary Judges/Contestants Choice Week

Top 3 Adam,Danny KrisDanny went home Kris and Adam remain.
I honestly think Kris will win Adam has been in a league of his own the entire season and will end up with a record deal no matter if he wins or if Kris wins.
Rating Scale 1-10 Combined Scores of Judges pick and contestant pick performances
Adam Total: 19
Judges Choice One U2 10 /His Choice Cryin Aeronsmith 9
Comments: Some songs were a perfect fit for him and others weren't. Some genres worked for him and others did not. Out of the two songs he did last night I perferred One over Cryin.
Danny Total: 13
Judges Choice Dance Little Sister 9/ His Choice You Are So Beautiful 5
Danny has been a favorite of mine the whole season and he pretty much lost his favorite status last night and it carried over to Kris. Most of his performances have been consistent over the course of the season though there were some songs that I liked better than others (Jesus Take The Wheel,What Hurts The Most) His performance last week was absoulutley horrendous due to the fact that he tried to mimic Adam with the screaming and miserably failed. Of his performance this week I liked Dance Little Sister better because I found it to be the better of the uptempo numbers he has done. You Are So Beuatiful was SO SO boring I nearly fell asleep.
Kris Total 16
Judges/His Choice 8
The best he has done all season clearly. Totallly loved how he went acoustic with the second song. It showed even more of his versitility. I definitley plan on buying his records. Same thing with Alexis's Scott's and Allison's

Transtions.. never easy

Transitions are not very easy for me to make. Let me elaborate
Two summers ago I had an amazing internship at the New London Barn Playhouse in New London New Hampshire. It was the most amazing experience of my life. Once we all left to go our sperate ways to school and life away from the Barn it hit me really hard. I had a fullblown depression for several months which is fifty percent over and fifty percent still needs to gain closure.
The part that is healed is the part that is related to drifting apart from the people I worked with. That was rough on me for awhile. One of my coworkers and I were really close to each other by the end of the summer and since we left the Barn Playhouse we have fallen out of touch. The fact that he was the fist person I lost touch with was really hard on me due to the fact that we were like a brother and sister type pair by the end of the summer. The fact that I lost touch with him first made it easier for me to deal with accepting that i've lost touch with a majority of the other people in my intern company other than a very select few. If you read my livejournal you should know who I am talking about.
The second part of my depression is still very much in limbo. It's related to all the changes that have gone on at the Barn since my departure in terms of management. All of these changes are beyond my control and I wish I never had such an emotional connnection to them because it didnt make much sense to be so emotionally attached to them since I am no longer employed by them. I have been fighting with myself back and forth about going to see a play at NLBP this summer because I am worried there is a possibility my depression could come back. There a 95% unlikelyhood of that happening. Going to the Barn, I think will help me gain complete closure to all my anger about all the changes that have gone on at the Barn and i'll be able to have more of an acceptance everything. From then my connection with NLBP will cease because I really have no connections there anymore except for the 5 junior interns that were in the company I directed in Bravery Soup and even the make up of that group has changed because the age limit has been pushed down

More recently the transition I've had issues with making is that from college life to the real world. I graduated from college last year. I honestly can't believe it's been a year already. Post-college life is much different than college life. The thing that was hardest is that I don't get to see my friends as much as I used to and even when I go up to visit them it feels strange because I don't feel like I completely fit in there anymore..not with my group of friends ..I enjoy getting together with them every time I go up.. our little family unit. I must admit though it's grown a little fractured since I left. The atmosphere of NEC in general is where I don't really fit or feel I fit.
The job search as I'm sure you've been reading in my previous entires has been driving me up a total and complete wall. Hopefully the economy willl turn around soon . It is very frusturating because no body is hiring and whatever places are hiring are few and far between.
However I am planning on going back to school. I will be taking some classes at Nashua Tech starting in the summer. I will be starting classes in Medical Coding with Anatomy and Physiology then in September I will take Medical Terminology and a few other classes. The way things are looking it will take me til 2011 to get my certificate.

Later
Janine

Home stretch of American Idol

Amercian Idol Rock and Roll Week Summary of Tuesday Night Performances and Wednesday Night Result Show

Tuesday Night Performaces Ratings and Commentary

It's so hard to beleive that we're already in the homestretch of American Idol and down to the final four contestants. This week they did something interesting and paired Kris and Danny and Adam and Allison up for duets. Here are my standings for Rock and Roll Week. And since we're getting into the final weeks of AI I will review my favorite performances of the season
.Adam
Song: A Whole Lot of Love by Led Zepplin
Rating 9Comments: This was my favorite performance of his other than Tracks of My Tears in Motown Week. He was truly in his element this week and bounced back after being in the bottom three last week.
AllisonSong: Crybaby by Janis Joplin
Rating 8
Comment: Like Adam she was truly in her element this week. She always adds her own flair to whatever song she does.. she is pretty amazing for 17 years old. This was my favorite performace of hers besides Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith during Songs From The Cinema Week
Danny Song Dream On
Rating 6.5Comment: Because of the screaming at the end this song would have been a better choice for Adam. Not my favorite performance by him at all. He'll definitley go home this week. Favorite performance of his was a tie between Jesus Take The Wheel and September.
Kris
Song Come Together The Beatles
Rating 7.5
Comment: For Kris it is all about artistry... as Kara has pointed out week by week. He knows how to make song his own.
Duets
Adam and Allison: Slow Ride By Foghats They have excellent chemistry together on the stage. This performance was very fun to watch. I agree with the judges when they said that they would definitley record a duet on one of their records. It would be phenomnial
Kris and Danny: If the duet performances were calcuated into tonight's judging then it would have saved Danny's chances of staying in the compettion because his solo performance was not up to par. I thought they did a good job.

Results Show Recap

Pro Daughtry

Pro No Doubt

Pro Ford Commercial

Con Allison being sent home. It should have been Danny.

Con Group number was the absolute worst ever.

Neither pro nor con. Paula's performance. Chereography was good but you could definitley tell it was lipsynced

Favorite Performances Throughout the Season

Alexis Grace was a powerhouse along with Allison. I was sad to see her go so early in the compettion. Every song she did was a favorite of mine from her audition to when she got eliminated during country week.
Michael Sarver and Megan Joy Corkery did not have very many memorable performances for me. Nor did Lil Rounds all of her stuff started to sound the same after a while.
Anoop Desai He was easy to fall in love with as his strong points was ballads. He did not fare so well with up-tempo numbers such as Michael Jackson's Beat It.
Scott McIntyre Hands down my favorite performnace by him was Mandolin Rain.
Matt Girard Honestly I thought his performance of My Funny Valentine was one of his best. Last week's theme was definitley his strong suit and I think that Kris should have gone home He also did really good with Stayin Alive, Part Time Lover and Let's Get It On.
Danny September and Jesus Take The Wheel
Allison: Don't Wanna Miss A Thing,Someone To Watch Over Me,Crybaby
Kris Ain't No Sunshine
Adam Tracks of My Tears, A Whole Lot Of Love

My head hurts.... so much stress

My head hurts from all the constant stress and anxiety  I am under with looking for a job.  I  hear back from Rite Aide tomorrow at some point but I highly doubt  I will  get the job there  due to my lack of experience  at a cash register.  This job search has been non-stop for the past 6 months and it seems to turn up absolutely no leads what so ever. I am about ready to temporarily give up my search and wait till the end of the summer when all the college kids go back to school perhaps by then some retail or restaurant hostess jobs will open up.  Even the summer camps I've applied  have an insane number of applicants and  I don't think i'll be getting jobs either.  There is another secretarial position open at the tech school  and  I think  I may apply for that but  i am not sure if the people in  human resources still have my application on file or if  I  will have to fill it out again.

To keep myself  from going totally and completely insane  I have been doing some volunteer work.  Tomorrow  I start my volunteer job @ Plus Company working in their theatre department and writing grants.  I have also been volunteering at the Souhegan Valley Chamber of Commerce two or three days a week doing general office work.  I have met a lot of interesting people so far.

Another thing that adds to my stress is  the whole issue of going back to school.  I have no idea whatsoever  what I want to next as far as education is concerend.

My two options are

Taking classes  at Nashua Tech: I would be taking night classes to earn  a certificate in either Speech Pathology or Medical Coding.  I still can't decide which topic I would rather study or which area would get me a better job.   Speech Pathologists are in high demand right now so that's something to consider

Going to Graduate School at  UNH- Grad School= better job opportunities.  I want  to either study something in communications or education.  The issue with this is money because my  sister is going to college next year and my parents will have to pay for her undergrad  and my grad school if  I choose to go grad school in Sept 2010.  I suppose    I could always do some research on scholarships and loans.  The fact of having to pay even more loans back dreadens me.

American  Idol  Update

Matt got voted off.  This week's theme is  Rock and Roll. It's hard to predict who is going to go  home so soon but  I think that it could either be  Kris or Danny. 

Songs  I'd like to hear the contestants sing this week

Adam  Anything by Elvis

Allison- Anything by Aerosmith because she did really good with Don't Wanna Miss A Thing during  Songs From The Cinema Week

Danny-  Crazy Little Thing Called Love Queen

Kris  Hey Jude The Beatles

Are there  seriously  three more weeks left of American Idol? I'm so sad. My Tuesday/Wednesday nights will lose their color and charm.

American Idol Rat Pack Week Recap

Rat Pack Week equals best theme of American Idol to date! On a scale of 1-10 no one rates below a 6 tonight. We're getting down to the wire. Once American Idol ends my Tuesday and Wednesday nights will be so dull.
Bottom three is going to be hard to compile this week as all of the performances were amazing... excepgt Adam's but he'll never be in the bottom 3 because he has too big of a fan base.
1. Danny
Song: Come Rain Or Come Shine
Rating 8
Flawless.
2. Matt
Song: My Funny Valentine
A little bit of Broadway in Rat Pack night as this song is from the musical Babes in Arms. He did really good with it too. He was truly
in his element.
Rating 8.5
3. Allison
Song: Someone To Watch Over Me
My favorite performance out of all the ones she has done.
Rating 7
4, Kris
Song The Way You Look Tonight
This song proved he is very versatile.
Rating 7.5
5 Adam
Song Feeling Good
Never heard of this song before in my life. Thought he would of picked something like New York New York. He did good.. a little bit easier on the ears because there is less screaming.
Rating 6


My prediction is that the final 3 will be Allison Danny and Matt Allison to win. Let's see how accurate this ends up being. I tend to be horrible at predicting things.

New York New York

American Idol Update: Anoop and Lil were elimnated. Thank god! Now the compettiors worth watching are leftTop 5AdamAllisonDannyMattKrisThis week's theme Rat Pack... Frank Sinatra songs YAY!So this weekend Matt and I went to New York for our one year anniversary ... which technically isn't till June 15th but we figured we would celebrate early just in case by some miracle we were both to get jobs by them. We left NH at 6:30 am on Friday caught a connectiong bus at South Station @ 8:30 and arrived in New York by 1:00. After checking into our hotel room we went out to lunch and then did some souvenier shopping and went to the Metropolition Meusuem of Art. Now usually I am not a big fan of art muesums but I wasn't quite so bored by this one. There were a lot of interesting exhibits. We were there from 2:30-4:30 then hopped on the train to Greenwhich Village and walked around the NYU campus. I was kind of a ditz and forgot to take the phone #s of my friends from the Barn Playhouse who go there so I could have met up with them for dinner...oh well next time. We went out to dinner at this nice Italian resturant in Greenwhich Village. I can't remember the name of it. One step up from the disgusting hamburger I had for lunch for some reason nothing beats a cheerburger from Wendy's. After that we went back to our hotel room relaxed and watched the Red Sox on Tv. Saturday morning we got up @ around 8:30 had breakfast @ the hotel then did some souvenier shopping and just walked around the city. We arrived at the theatre to get our tickets for HAIR at about 1:15. The show was phenominial. I do not think I have had so much fun at a Broadway show in a while. I hope it gets nominated for a Tony awards... now I am not sure if Drama Desk Awards are the same thing but HAIR is nominated for 8 of those.. complete list can be found @ the below linkhttp://www.playbill.com/news/article/128654.html After the show we met up with my friend Jay and he gave us a backstage tour.. brief as it was it was amazing! Pictures of it from it are already up on facebook. We then went out for dinner @ this awesome resturant on Broadway called Ellen's Starlight Diner. It was a 50's style diner and the cool thing about they had a singing wait staff. IT was cool I'll definitley go back there again next time I go back to New York. ... which won't be for awhile. Yesterday we were up early for a quick breakfast in the room then we checked out of our hotel and met up with my friend Colleen from the Barn Playhouse for lunch!! So good to see her and catch up!! Then we made the long trek home and were slightly delayed because of traffic in Conneticut. Got home around 8:30 last night.. and now it's back to realoity and job searching.I have a meeting with my job coach at 2 and then an interview @ Rite Aide in Milford at 3:15. At this point I am pretty desperate for a job so I am really hoping I get this one. I just want all this stress to be over. I have been losing sleep because of the stress and anxiety I have been under.

American Idol Disco Week Summary

American Idol SummaryTheme: Disco Week 5 (still not totally sure what week of the compettion we're in but we are getting closer and closer to the end.)
Bottom 2:
Anoop Song: Dance The Night Away Donna Summer
Rating 4
Remarks: Totally and completley bored with him. He needs to go
Lil Song I'm Every Woman Chaka Khan
Rating 6.Comment: While this was slightly better then last week's performance I still think everything of hers is starting to sound the same. Like Anoop she is gettiing quite boring. She never listens to what the judges say when they tell her to improve and that's why everything sounds the same
Middle
Adam If I Can't Have You
Rating 5
Remarks: Adam is too good to even be considered to be in the bottom 3.. no matter how much I predict him to be there he will never end up there
Matt
Song Stayin Alive The BeegeesRating 8
Remarks: This performance proved that the judges used the save wisely and that's all I have to say. Totally agree with Kara's comment which was SOLID
Top 3
Allison
Song: Hot Stuff Donna Summer
Rating 8
Remarks: Interesting twist on one of my favorite disco songs. She knows how to take a song and make it her own.
Danny Song: September Earth Wind And FireRating 9
Remarks: He gives solid performances each week. This was his best one yet in my opinon.
Kris
Song: She Works Hard For The Money Donna Summer
Rating 8
Remarks: He's getting better and better every week.

grrr

UGGH! The job search is getting even more discouraging and frusturating. Everywhere I turn there seems to be a road block.. too many people applying for same job,college kids coming back looking for summer work, people with more experience getting the jobs and what have you. I am ready to surrender for the time being and wait until the summer is over to look for a job.. at least I might have a possibilty of getting the hostess job at Fridays by then.

On the plus side Friday Matt and I go to New York for our one year anniversary...so excited!!! I am looking most foward to getting the backstage tour at HAIR..THANK YOU JAY and meeting up with Colleen Fee for dinner after the show. Escaping for awhile will help me get my mind of job searching and all its disappointments at least temporairly.

Writer's block still nags at me too. I haven't written any poems since December. My muse has left me totally and completely. Not to metion I haven't had much free time lately to work on the sequel to the last story I wrote for Short Story Workshop Class.

Upcoming Events
NYC all signs point to my theatre related blog http://theatrereviewer826.blogspot.com for a full review of HAIR AND pictures from the Backstage tour
NEC Spring Weekend
NEC Graduation

American Idol Results show recap

Pros and Cons of Last nights American Idol Results show
Pros
Ford commercial
Jennifer Hudson performed
2 out of three people I predicted would be in the top 3 were there.
Matt was saved, i thought they really should have used the save on Alexis Grace a few weeks back to spare people the torture of enduring Megan Joy Corkery's vocals but I am glad Matt is around for an extra week.
Group song was better than it has been in previous weeks and looked less like it was lip-synced.
Cons
Miley Cyrus performed and she sucks live
Lil should have gone home and she didn't.
Next week is double elimination meaning that Matt could go home if he doesn't give a stellar performance. I am really hoping that Anoop and Lil go though. I am so sick of them.


Next week's theme Disco
Songs I'd like to hear the contestants sing
Adam- Stayin Alive The Beegees
Allison Dancing Queen ABBA
Danny Boogie Shoes KC and The Sunshine Band
Kris Jive Talkin' The Beegees
Matt Ain't No Stoppin Us Now McFadden and Whitehead
Lil I Feel Love Donna Summer
No clue what song would be best fit for Anoop. He's more of a ballad type of person and Disco is a really upbeat kind of theme. We'll have to see what happens.

Group Song for Results Show: Celebration Kool and The Gang

It's about that time to reflect

Quote of the Day:  "Do not go where  the path may lead, go instead   where there is no path and leave a trail."   Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today's theme is graduation.. senioritis everything of that sort... I have a lot of people  I know who are graduating from high school and college in a couple weeks ( or  a month and a half approximately if you go to SHS) so  I figured I would post a  words to wise kind of entry. It will be split into two parts... advice for high school seniors and advice to college seniors.

Part 1: High School  Seniors

It's been a long time since I was a senior in high school  (going on 5  years) at around this time   senior projects  were wrapping up... college apps had been sent in and most of my friends had found out where they were to  be going to school in September. Current seniors at Souhegan have the same kinds of things to deal with  even though  I think senior project presentations are now at end of April or beginning of May instead of earlier in April...  things have changed so much at Souhegan since I left that  I'm not sure how that schedule works now.  I'm sure the stress of the application process is well over and done with and that most of you know where you're going next yet.  The advice that would fit  your situations right now is live your final days of high school to the fullest because you will miss them  (and your friends) when they're gone.  When the end of the summer and  your departure to your  departure for college (where ever your travels may  lead you  close to home or far away) Embrace each day with passion and don't be afraid to try new things. When I was thinking of what clubs to join in college I kept my passions in check but wasn't afraid of trying something new and that's how  I met a ton of the friends  that I have now.  

Part 2:  College Seniors

This part of the entry  is more relevant to people  I am more closer to in age.  I am in awe that it was only a year ago when   I was in all of your shoes... stressed to the max about graduating on time and even more stressed about what  I would be doing post grad. It was only in the last couple of  weeks of school  when I realized how much  I was going to miss NEC (not so much Henniker because not a whole lot happens there but more so my friends,fellow thespians and professors)  and how much I still miss it and miss all my friends.  Transition from the college life to the real world is a daunting task but take it in stride and you'll do a ok.   The economic down turn has had the biggest effect on me because I have struggled with finding a job since I've graduated and  sometimes even pondered  why  I majored in  what I chose to major in (wishing  I had majored in education instead of communications)  but  I take that in stride too.  The right job will come along eventually  for me    I am sure as I'm sure it will come along for all of you once you start the ever so daunting search.  Live the final moments of your senior year to  the fullest and enjoy them.

Congratulations to everyone in the class  of 2009. Best of luck in whatever future endeavors you lead yourselves on. 

With all these thoughts of graduating  and  where people will be afterwards and even what some people  I graduated with last year are doing now   I can't  help but have a flash back to   August 12th  2007.  It was  the last  brunch at the Barn Playhouse at Wally and Bud's house where  I joined in a conversation that Nic,  Will and Paul where having  with Bud about where they see themselves in the future. I  didn't throw in my own two cents because I didn't want to interrupt anyone else's train of thought.    Besides the late night talks I used to have with Will about various things after Annie Get Your Gun rehearsals or even backstage when there wasn't much else to do  this conversation  really stood out to me because it got me to think about where  I was going with my life.. and where   I would predict most of my friends from the Barn Playhouse would be after we left NLBP. Broadway bound? Well maybe not yet but everyone has to start somewhere and from the chatting i've done with various people in my intern company  quite a few of them have been in either touring shows or off Broadway shows so that doesn't  shock me based on the diverse range of talent that everyone had.  Highly admirable. :D Love everyone in NLBP 07!!  Anyway enough about that.    I still think about the conversation a lot today because I guess the daunting question  I consistently find myself facing is  where do  I see myself in 5,10,15 years?    Communications  is clearly the broadest major one can choose but with the way a lot of newspapers seem to be going out of business  I don't know if i'll be able to make much of a career of being  a theatre reviewer  that's why  I've done some constant rethinking of my career path and  am gonna take some classes in the fall  in either Early Childhood Education, Speech Pathology  or Medical Coding.   It's a daunting and confusing task to try to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life..and quite challenging. It makes my head hurt. 

American Idol Recap- Songs From The Cinema

What week of American Idol is this? 5? 6? I don't remember.
This week's theme was songs from the cinema
Top 3 Allison Matt Kris
Bottom 3 Adam (though he definitely won't get into the bottom 3) Anoop Lil (she's borderline this week)
Middle Ground Danny
Scale Rating 1-10 1 horrible and hurts my ears 10 Awesome
Allison
Song: Don't Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith from the movie Armageddon
Rating 9
Clearly her best performance yet. If she is in the bottom 3 again this week I will be shocked. She is definitley going to make it all the way to the end.
Anoop
Song Everything I Do I Do For You Bryan Adams (missed the movie it was from)
Rating 4.5
This performance was alright.. better then some of his performances in past weeks. His time is running very short,
Adam
Song Born To Be Wild missed the artist name from the movie Ez Rider
Rating 3.5
The best performance he has done so far was Tracks of My Tears during Motown Week. The past two performances he has done have gotten low ratings from me but based on his strong fan base there is no way he'll even get close to the bottom 3. He's invincible. 3.5
Matt
Song Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman by Bryan Adams from the movie Don Juan Demarco
Rating 8
He continues to improve as an artist. I like what I hear from him more and more every week. He did a really good job with the song.
Danny
Song Endless Love Lionel Ritchie missed the movie it was from
Rating 6.5
Lots of good emotion in this song but I tend toward liking his more upbeat performances then the balllads.
Kris
Song Falling Slowly missed the artist and movie it was from
Rating 8
Totally agree with Kara's critique BEST MOMENT!!
Lil
Song The Rose I think it is from Beaches with Bette Midler in it but I am not sure
Rating 7
One of her better performance out all the ones she done over the past few weeks. Loved her song choice but quite frankly I am getting bored with her and hope she goes home this wee

...

Happy Easter and Passover!

So my interview on Friday at Friday's went so-so. It seems like they are looking for people to hire when all the college kids go back to school at the end of the summer so if I end up getting hired I have a feeling I won't get on the schedule rotation for awhile. Now I am anxiously await Tuesday to find out if I get hired. good vibes good vibes

Tomorrow I have an interview for a summer camp job at the Milford Middle School Enrichment Program. That should be pretty interesting and it pays really good too. We'll see how that interview goes. Also I got a phone call on Friday from the Plus Company a sister company of Gateways Community Services and I got a volunteer job offer to be director of their theatre department. I am super excited.. not only am I gonna be working on plays but I am going to be DIRECTING something I have never had any experience in before. I am super super excited.


Things just keep getting better and better.

April 9th- Job update

Bypassed going to the job fair in Manchester today. Heard something on the radio that it was too crowded and there was no way I would have gotten a parking space to get on the shuttle bus from the mall. There weren't a lot of places I was really that interested in applying for there anyway so I guess it works out in my favor that I didn't end up going. Things are finally starting to turn around!!

Fridays FINALLY called me back about the hostesss job. I have the interview tomorrow at 2pm. Hopefully that will go well. *crosses fingers* I also start my volunteer job at Gateways Community Services in Nashua sometime in the next couple weeks doing public relations stuff for them. I also just got a phone call from the Plus Company another place that helps people with disabilites find jobs. They have a department of theate and I was asked to help out with theier shows I am wicked excited! That interview is next Friday @ 11am.

Things are looking up! I might be employed sooner then you think. YAY for potientially not being broke anymore! :)

A humbling experience for this American Idol fan

Before I begin I just want to say that my NCAA basketball bracket totally and completely sucked. The team that I predicted to win did not even make it to the finals. That team was Syracuse... they got out in the semifinals. The team that I was hoping would come in second place UCONN did not win either. North Carolina did. Next year when I do my bracket I have to do a better job of picking teams that will actually win the whole championship.
Moving on.....
So American Idol last night.. history was definitely made. Scott Mcintyre got voted off and I almost cried when the result was given. He is truly an amazing performer and a true inspiration to me. He is vision impaired but does not let his disability get in the way of what he loves. Music! He has been my favorite in this year's competition ever since the audition process started in January. Alexis Grace was my second favorite and to be honest she should have stayed longer than she did and Megan Corkery should have gone home the week that Alexis went home so that way I could have been spared from her horrible performance during top 100 week. I should mention that I am vision impaired too.. I have been since I was really young and the reason why Scott is so inspirational to me is because I wish that I had half the musical talent that he does but I don't. I know I don't and I most likely never will. There are people I have done choir with and theatre with in college and even some people I worked with at the Barn Playhouse that I know my talent won't even halfway match up too (umm Colleen Fee, Nic Rouleau, Caroline Massageee, Keri Racicot the list could seriously go on.. actually technically there's only three or four more people I could possibly think of) I am totally and completely humbled to be an American Idol fan after watching Scott's progression from the auditions to this week's performance that sent him home. He's amazing! I will definitley buy his cds if he comes out with any. I will also buy Allison Ireheata's and Danny Gokey's because they are pretty amazing too.