Future

Ok so earlier in my entries somewhere back around early October I reflected on a conversation I caught the tail end of at the last brunch at Wally and Bud's house that Bud was having with Paul, Nic and Will about dreams and the future and whatever else they were talking about.... this entry is going to counteract that entry because I sounded some what confident what what I wanted to do with the rest of my life in that entry.... well I take a lot of what I said before back if that's possible to do....
I sounded in the previous entry that I had a pretty clear idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life based on my experience I had at the Barn Playhouse this summer but honestly public relations work for a theatre is just one possible job that I could do and there are so many other jobs I could do. The main goal I have for myself over January break is to start looking for possible places around the area that I could work next year. As anxious as I am to be done with school the whole idea of being in the real world in less than a year really really is starting to freak me out. School is kind of like my safe zone. I have my friends and things to keep me occupied like going to the sports games and the plays... once I graduate that's all gonna change. Sure I'll still come back and visit but it's not going to be the same as seeing my friends every day. It's just like graduating high school all over again... though the level of anxiety that I have is about 20,000 times bigger than the anxiety level I had when I graduated high school in 2004.
Commuincations is the broadest major that one can select. There is so much that one can do with it. Do I really want to make a carrer out of doing PR work for a theatre? Sure working at the Barn Playhouse this summer was fun but will I actually be able to make a decent living out of something like that if that's the career field that I choose to go into? Will I be able to make a career out my writing? I've been writing poetry since I was 12 years old.. if I make a living off of that solely then I'll end up living on a street corner in a box somewhere. I kind of wish I had stuck with doing my radio show this year but I chose not to do it because my schedule was too full of other stuff to do. I really liked doing that. I also like writing for the New Englander so maybe I could end up being a theatre critic for a newspaper.. who knows?

I'm soooo mind boggled... so baffled..... so confused. I don't know where my first thought should lead me as far as looking for a job.

Peace love life
Sweet Janine