Game Winning Point

Well my volleyball game last night went suprisingly well. I really underestimated myself and was nervous for no reason. We played four matches and lost all four of them but the last one was pretty damn close. I scored theree points in the fourth game on a few excellent serve. It's amazing if i hadn't scored the game winning point in the volleyball game we played at Dominic's birthday party last summer i probably would have never even thought to join the volleyball team in the first place. Who would'a thunk that this music geek who was in chorus and theatre in high school could totally change her tune and become athletic? That just shows how much interests can change over the course of two years. I've been going on and off all year with thinking about quitting theatre I go into spasms where I want to quit and spasms when I don't want to quit because while I may not make any of the shows I still have two more years left to get into shows so maybe I souldn't totally give up yet. On the opposite side of the coin doing showcase is a lot of fun but after this semester I am not totally sure if I still want to do it anymore because of the fact that as I have stated in a previous entry ( can't remember which one) where I said that I really don't have that much talent aside from writing poetry. I can't sing and i'm not all that great of a dancer.. well we'll see how chorographing the dance with Alexis for the showcase in May goes (whenever that is, Vivian hasn't set a date yet) I'm kind of excited about that because it will push my comfortable limits a bit.. cuz that's what life is all about pushing one's comfortable limits and thinking outside the box. It's amazing how the Souhegan mission statement rings so true after two years of being out of high school. Well before I go off on too much of a tangant I'll go back what i was talking about.. was that even a tanagent .. i don't know but anyways..... Yeah i don't know about the whole sticking with theatre thing next year. For some reason I kind of sense it getting a little bit old maybe because I've been doing theatre related stuff since high school wheater it be backstage crew for plays at school or theatre camps in the summer.. god lots of good memories from that and Jared Nathan omg what a dreamboat... haha there i go with digressing again. I don't know I honestly get stuck sometimes with wheather or not I still want to stick with it.. I have so much fun with my theatre friends and really enjoy hanging out with them and I've grown a lot closer to lots of them this year... well maybe not lots of them but quite a few of them and they know who they are but honestly I think i'm ready for a change because I got a different feeling out on the volleyball court than I ever did when I auditoned for any play i've audtioned for.. I can't explain it really.. it's just a new type of energy i guess. This kind of a weird feeling for me because I was never the athletic type in high school at all. I was more of the superfan.....more of what I still am today but I never actually was part of team... I played soccer when I was younger and was on a swim team one summer but other than that sports were not really my thing...not in the least bitHopefully if any of my friends from theatre read this they won't get to upset with me.. though i can't quite see why they would.

BEST Freshmen and Sophmore Year Memories

i paging through my old lj that i crossed over to this one and i was lost on the over bearing nostalgia of last year and last semester

Top Favorite Memories

1. Theatre Department Christmas Party at Keri's 2. Showcase last spring ( GALOSHES hee hee i heart Zach) 3. Improv show last semester 4. Hanging out with the theatre people and celebrating Darren and Vivian's birthdays (which was after the improv show. I was really hyped up on sugar that night due to too much soda and pie which caused me to leap clear across the common room of the theatre suite and scare the shit out of Darren) 5. Spring Weekend6. Native American Lit class field trip to DC (despite the rain) 7. Haunted Hayride 8. Salem Witches Muesem Field Trip 9. Laramie Project 10. Tartuffe 11 being on stage crew for Betty's Summer Vacation Honestly with memories such as those you can't go wrong. This semester is shaping up with many good memories too. I can't wait til the second half of the semester it's going to be awesome and less drama filled. Sometimes I really think i am one of the most overcritcal person when it comes to myself. I am way too wrapped up in the affect i will make on people if that makes sense. I put too much preassure on myself to good grades which doesn't make the academic part of school too much fun for me. Last semester that was a really big pain in the ass because i was so paranoid with getting good grades where i almost reached nervous break down mode a couple times. I get annoyed with myself that I can't seem to get out of the mindset of worrying about what other people think of me... like that whole thing I went through during christmas break when I thought the theatre people thought i was annoying.. that showed me that i was overly worried about what certain people in that group thought of me.. i spent th firsr couple weeks of this semester trying to figure out if i should bother comforting the people who i thought i annoyed but afterwhile i didn't really deem it to be that worth it to worry about because if they don't like me then that's their problem but i think for the most part they like and don't get quite as many dirrty looks from the person who was giving me dirty looks so that works for me. Something that i also to find that bugs me a lot is that i haven't really out grown my shyness factors around guys... I was laughing at how immature i was last year when I gave Ford that flower for valentine's day which in the end he didn't end up recieving. I felt like such a shallow person last semester when I was nervous about telling Zach that i liked him and then i was worried in the days following telling him that I liked him that it ruined our friendship but that was really dumb to worry about because there's a slim chance that it did. I think the main reason why i am so shy around guys is because i am afraid of rejection. I've been like that since high school and i think i need to get over it. For some reason it's hard to get over.... I'll need to get over this eventually because there's no way in hell i plan on being single the rest of my life.and on that note i leave you with a song*sings*through all kinds of weatherwhat if the sky should falljust as long as we're togetherit doesn't matter at allwell they've had all their quarells and partedwe'll be the same as we startedjust travelin along singing our songside by side*makes like a crow and flies away*

2nd reminder of the awesome friends I have.

Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or fogotten." Lilo and StitchLately I've been thinking a lot about my friends up here at NEC and how much like a family they've become to me. Especially, with all the shit i've been through this year between my uncle passing away in September and all the shit i've had to deal with with my issues with Christina. Quite honestly I don't know where I would be or how the fuck i would be kept sane without my friends to keep me laughing and smiling. I think a lot of the time I don't give them enough credit where credit is due.. so this is my salute to them all of them.....Jennie, Darren, Zach, Emily, Megan, Amy, Alli, Erin L, Tim, Lauren (though i haven't talked to her in awhile); Erin R, Jackie, Keri, Sarah; Chris, Cooper, Marion, Anh,Amanda (bitch at me later if i forgot anyone but i don't think that I did.) I love you guys dearly and I honestly don't know where I would be with out you. loveJanine

Frat Party Advenutres

Well i survived my first frat party.... and it'll probably be my last one too. I had a decent time but the whole partying thing is not for me at all. Too much craziness to absorb all at once. I did have a few drinks but only two beers so I really don't feel wasted at all. It helped me to forget about this whole feeling uncomfortable around certain people from theatre thing but only for a few minutes.Frat guys are realllly cute....... ;)

Jr Year Begins

Well this semester is most certainly off to a good start. I'm aiming for a stress-free semester or as stressfree as I can possibly obtain to get it. So happy to be back with my loves. Classes are going most fantastically too Here's what i am taking:Biology and Society: Lauren was so right about Eric Simon. He's an awesome teacher and while science may not be my strongest subject area I think this class may end becoming my favorite one. The labs are going to be fun too. Next week we get to go to the supermarket and compare different food labels.Feature Writing: Some of the people who were in Media Writing with me last semester are back and I have a feeling it's going to be an awesome class. It will give me an oppotunity to polish up my writing and try new styles of writing I may not have tried before.Journalism 2: ummm..getting credit for the articles I write about the theatre shows? Clearly amazing. Who could ask for more? I am sure not gonna complain :D Oh and a shout out to those in CTE who read this (if any of you do do) if you suggestions for things you want to have me write articles feel free to shoot them my way.Intro To Poli Sci: We didn't have class yesterday because my teacher got stuck in a long meeting but i am looking very foward to this class and the debates we'll have. Oral Communications: This class should be interesting. I've never written a speech before well unless you count writing campaign speeches for when I ran for student government. I look foward to see what other people write their speeches about and what kinds of interesting things I come up with for my own speeches.So hopefully my stress level will be reduced to nothing this semester and I can reach my ultimate goal of getting on Deans List. Tuesday was Founder's Day and they celebrated the 60th Anniversary of the college. I found it intensley interesting to learn about the founding of the colllege and how it has evovled since the opening. Now it's time to talk about auditons.. oh the wonders! Suprisingly the musical auditions were a lot less painful then I was assuming they would be. I sang Hero by Mariah Carey as my audition song and I think it went over pretty well. I'm still a bit nervous about getting into the musical because of things I have previously stated about the stakes being set to high as far as the singing part of the auditions go becausse as always I will be pitted against people with better voices than me. The auditon for Zach's play was a breeze for the most part. I think I have a better chance of getting into Zach's play than I do the musical but I guess we'll see where the chips fall for casting,won't we now?Well either way wish me luckl (again) I find out sometime tomorrow afternoon wheater or not I get in so here's hoping.

Reminding myself how awesome my friends are.

excerpted from an entry i wrote in my old journal (dreambigdreams)in October....Another interesting concept I have found out is that I don't seem to settle on one group of friends but hang out with a bunch of people from different groups of people. I'm not big on the whole "clique" thing and never really was in high school either. One example is my core group of girl friends Ahn,Marion and Martha. We all have fun hanging out together. Then there's the whole theatre crew where i most certainly can't go wrong.. love all of them dearly and have a blast hanging out with all of them. Then there's a bunch of freshmen that I've made friends with like Bobbie Jo, Mollie, Ali and Jessie. Heart them all.going off that point.......Well yes, for the most part I do enjoy hanging out with my theatre friends and I certainly can't go wrong there. I know recently i have been complaining/ranting about how I think certain people from that group don't like me/think I am annoying but you know what? I don't give a crap because basically that mindset only relates to two or three people, one person i was concerned about told me she didn't think i was annoying.. i just hope she really meant it because generally she is pretty awesome. The two people that I still get uncomfortable feeling about are people i don't see a lot of, actually i see one more than i see the other because I barely see the second one at all because she lives off campus in an apartment. For the most part though, I get along well with most of the people from theatre and the seem to like me so it's all good. They kick ass. Though sometimes I still think that the fact that I asked out Zach may have messed up our friendship a little bit but that's in a whole different ballpark from what i am talking about so let's not talk about that.All in all my friends kick ass and i love them alll WOOO HOO!!!Today I went to go to the Boys and Girls Club in Milford to talk to the volunteer coordinator about doing some volunteer work when i am home for break. I start volunteering tomorrow afternoon from 3:30-4:30 and i am wicked excited about it. It will definitley add some variety to my schedule for break.. which so far really hasn't amounted to very much. The Boys and Girls Club is an absolutley gorgeous facility it seems like a fun place to work and i can't wait to start... I really hope i can get a job there this summer.Valentines Day is in a little bit over a month. I was really hoping to have a boyfriend by valentines day but i haven't had very much luck with boys so far this year. Doesn't look anything is going to happen in the realtionship department for me between now and valentines day unless by some miralce i meet a guy at school when I get back on the 29th and somehow magically hit it off. I don't think that will happen though. Meaning it will be another lonely valentines day for me. I'll most likely be really mopey all day long because that's the day where people who are in realationships go out and do stuff with there signifcant others and since i don't have a signifcant other i will be shafted like i always am. I hate Valentines Day.. always have and always will except for that one valentines when a small message of friendship touched my heart... that made my day. I wish I had told that person how much that made me happy but i never did and now i never talk to him anymore. oh well c'est la vietime for dinnerxoxoxJanine

While getting ready for the semi

So doing my laundry today took longer than it really should've for various reasons. I went down to my laundry room @ 1:10 to go do my laundry only to disccover that the all the washing machines were out of order. So i got on instant messanger and imed various people to see if the washing machines were working in their dorms. I didn't get many answers so i got off my ass and walked over to Charter to investigae. Once i found out that the washing machine was working i did my laundry. After the 26 minute wash cyccle was completed i put my clothes in the dryer only to find out that the was not even plugged in. So i went back to East in order to find salvation but i found none because all of the dryers were out of order too. So i went over to Union to see what the situation was over there i saw the washers but i didn't see dryers so i left an went to Connor where i finally found a working dryer and put my clothes in that dryer. When i got back to charter i realized that two socks had fallen out of my laundry basket so i had to blowdry them because i didn't really feel like going over to connor to put them in the dryer. I watched tv fr an hour than went back to Connor to get my clothes out of the dryer and went back to my room to put all my shit away. Most horendous day ever.I'm rather afraid to tell my mom this story because i have a feeling she'll get really mad at me... but then again she may find it kind of humoours as i am hoping most of you will. this is my thrid entry today oh welloff to get ready for the dance. toodles much love