Mellow..or trying to be because its better than being anxious all the time.

Last week was pretty uneventful and I fear this week is going to be more of the same unless I don't be proactive and make plans with some friends. I am so anxious about wheather or not I am going to get the job at the tech college in Nashua. As I said in the previous entry I am not sure how firece the compettion is going to be between myself and other nine people who applied. I am crossing my fingers and praying every night that I get this job. I could really use the money because I need to start paying back my loans from NEC soon. I have not reallly gotten a lot of hours from subbing recently... it is school vacation this week so I am hoping that next week I will get called at least one or two days. In the meanwhile I have a meeting with my new job coach from Vocational Rehab Wednesday afternoon at 1:30. Hopefully my job coach and I can come up with some other places I have applied to. I applied for two secreterial jobs @ Southern NH Medical Center in Nashua and I haven't gotten a call back on either one yet. I am hestiant to make any follow up calls for any of the jobs I applied for in the past couple weeks until I hear back from the tech college.

Thursday I am going to Boston for the day with my mom and sister and my sister is going on a college tour of BU. Matt and I are planning on meeting for lunch in Bosotn and I am gonna try to get a hold of my best friend from elementary school and hopefully she'll be able to meet up with me too. I haven't seen her in 8 years. YAY for seeing old friends!! :) Saturday night I am going to NEC to go visit my friends and I am excited about seeing them again since the last time I saw them was before Thanksgiving when I went up for the Masquerade Ball.

So tired...even though i took a two hour nap today. All this job search anxiety is starting to wear me out.

Janine

*crossing my fingers*

So my job interview at the tech college went really really well yesterday. I am really hoping I get the job. Nine other applicants are being interviewed and I do not know how fierce the compettion is going to be. I should know by the beginning of next week. I will hold off on following up on other applications I have previously submitted until I hear back.
Saturday was Valentines Day. Matt came over for dinner. Chinese food... yum and then we went to go to see Godspell at Peacock Players. It was a truly enjoyable show. Godspell has always been one of my favorite musicals and Peacock did an amazing job with it.

I think I am a little bit too paranoid about stuff related to the Barn Playhouse and I know at this point that I shouldn't be. What's the past is the past. I am hoping my friends from the Barn Playhouse are not beginning to think negatively of me for the way I have been overly apologizing for taking so long to move on from stuff related to NLBP. I've worn myself out with apologizing when I know there is nothing really to apologize for anymore as I'm sure they have started to tune out all my apologizing. When I go to New York later in the spring with Matt I just want to have fun when I get together with them and catch up on what has been going on. After all it has been two years since I've seen a majority of them. Of course Will Porter is in this mix of people and I think i am the most anxious about seeing him again and the fact that things have a possibility of being awkward between us when we see each other again since we haven't really spoken to each other very much since we left New London. Colleen and Danielle have told me I have nothing to worry about and Rae has too so maybe I should just stop worrying so much and see what happens.

Job Search To Do List (follow up calls about apps will be made depending on wheather or not i get the job at the tech college)
~ Finish Camp Young Judea Application
~ Hopefully get a hold of the assitant principal @ Heron Pond Elementary School to set up an interview
~ Follow up with Walmart about online job application submitted last week
~Follow up with Texas Roadhouse (4th time- hopefully i get a hold of the manager)


American Idol season 8 is alive and kicking. I think there is a lot of talent in this years group judging from what I've seen so far of the auditons. Eary favorites of mine are Danny Gokey, Alexis Grace and Scott Macintyre. Yay American Idol!

I am so excited about going up to NEC next weekend to see all my friends. My brain needs a big relaxer from all the stress I have been under with job searching and this should definitley do the trick.

Later
Janine

Productivity is an amazing feeling!

So unlike the past week or so when I've been kind of blah and unproductive on the job searching front things and just in general here is what has been keeping me occupied
* My next article for the Cabinet- I am writing about families that are in the PTA Play together and how things are going. It's a pretty decent article.. it might be my best one so far.
*My script for my film- Actually I won't be filming this film until next semester when I am a student at the tech college, It's gonna be fun!! Yay Little Shop of Horrors!
*Called the Hollis Brookline School District today gonna go tomorrow to pick up an application to get on the sub list
* The TECH COLLEGE FINALLY called me back to sent up an interview! Next Tuesday @ 2:45 wish me luck!
* Applied online for two clerical jobs at Southern NH Medical Center
*Brought the rest of Matt's valentines day present. I can't wait for Saturday! :)
*Filled out an online job application at WalMart
*Set up an appointment to go observe a few classes at the tech college that I might be taking next semester.



Slumdog Millionaire is an amazing movie! EVERYONE should go see it!

Economy!

So I am so frusturated with the economy. I can't watch the international news anymore because it's just more doom and gloom about layoffs and unemployment numbers rising. I can't stand it!
Mind you I have been out out of work and searching for a job since October... yes October the 15th of October to be exact. There have been very few bright spots in my search. Those bright spots have included a brief publicity internship with Peacock Players, a youth theatre troupe in Nashua I might actually see if they are hiring camp counselors for the summer if I don't find anything else by then, a freelance writing job for the Milford Cabinet which is going fabulous (2 articles published so far) and a substitute paraprfessional educator for the Nashua School district which I just started about two weeks ago. That is going fantastic so far though it only pays a certain amount of money per hour. The thing that is the killer is finding a second job. Not very places are hiring right now and I am getting frusturated because I am running out of options for places to apply to. Stress city! I need to start paying back my loans from NEC soon. I am planning on going back to school in the fall to take classses at the Tech College in Nashua hopefully taking those classes will help me to gain additional skills that I will need so I can move up in my carreer or hopefully turn over a new leaf because I'm not really sure how much journalism will end up paying in the long run.

Time for bed. I've been sick for the whole week and I need to kick this cold so I won't be hacking all over guests at my superbowl partry tomorrow. That won't be very attractive.
Love
Janine

Wow!

So last night I was looking over my livejournal and I came to a realization of how unhappy I was last year through out most of the school year because of the situation with the falling out with Will Porter. Most of the entries in that livejournal consist of me being angry at myself for the way I acted. What I realize now is that I was totally and completley depressed about drifting apart from Will. I was scared to admit to myself that I was depressed. most likely because the last thing I wanted to do was go on medication for depression when I was so busy and overwhelmed with school work and graduating and what I was going to do after I graduated. I also realized that I was foolish in worrying that everyone from the Barn Playhouse have forgotten about me. I wonder how many of the other people I worked with picked up on the fact I was depressed. Hopefully not very many of them did. And then I realized how much senseless worrying I did about being annoying to everyone I worked with about various things. Boy was I overreacting a lot.

The thing I am most happy about now is that now I can look past all that now and not be so angry at myself anymore and not freak out so much about being annoying to other people. Can't let insignificant stuff like that drag me down. Nope! :)
So the past is in the past and I'm quite delighted with the present! :)

The economy is a pain in the butt

So i am kind of disappointed. My boyfriend and I were planning on going to New York in March but we might have to postpone our plans til later because of money issues. This economy is so frusturating. Hopefully it will improve soon. I am still in the process of finding a second job Subbing and the freelance writing job for the Milford Cabinet are both going fantastic but that only puts a small dent in my bank account and when it all boils down to it I need to start paying back my loans from NEC soon. If I go back to the the tech college to take classes in the fall then I will need to pay tuition for those classes too. I am beginning to wonder if going back to school may not be the best idea at this point in time. While I think taking classes will help me get a job that I would very much like to have or will help me to do better in the education field I just feel like I should focus more on finding a job. I don't know... I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I don't have to decide on that til April.

but yeah the economy is just reallly frusturating to me.. let's just leave it at that.

OVerall

This week was a good week!
*2nd article got published in the Milford Cabinet
*Came up with an awesome idea for the a student film project for the tech college
*Got paid for the 1st two articles I wrote for the Cabinet
*Sleeping over Heather's tomorrow night
*Subbing is going well.
*Going to see the play I wrote an article about on Saturday with Matt.
*I think all things considered this season of American Idol is going to be the best yet.
*Working on a sequel to the last story I wrote for short story workshop class.



Looking foward to:
*Superbowl Sunday getting together with some friends
*Valentines Day- The first valentines day will I be happy and not cynical. Going to see Godspell at Peacock Players with Matt.
and naturally NYC second weekend in March with Matt and seeing Bily Elliot! :)



Not much else to write about.
Love
Janine